Irene in The City: Everything You Need To Know To Prepare for a Hurricane in NYC

Irene in The City: Everything You Need To Know To Prepare for a Hurricane in NYC

by Marcos Colón & Peter Tremblay
08.26.2011


Yes, we're all about nightlife here at Clubplanet, but that doesn't mean we don't know a thing or two about the natural disasters that accompany a hurricane. Editor in Chief Marcos Colón and Contributing Editor Pete Tremblay are both Florida-boys through and through, and they've decided to step up to the plate and give you the real rundown of what the average New York City resident - whose weekend was just ruined by the storm - should prepare for.

No Rooftop and Basement Parties
New Yorkers have the luxury of having "rooftop parties," and cool underground nightlife venues that are literally underground (basement parties). Stay away from both. It's going to be raining a s*** ton to say the least, and unless you like dancing with water up to your calves while strange objects and rodents float by, there's nothing remotely sexy about pulling stunt like this. Rooftop parties will look more like the blood-soaked opening scene from Blade, sans the blood (that is, of course, unless you don't count the homeless-crazies in Central Park after the benches come unhinged and they do their best audition for Twister 2: Lost in New York). Sounds fun doesn't it? Well, it would probably be pretty damn fun, but chances are you won't make it to the second half of your two-step with 80-mph gusts.


Ditch Your Crap Apt. for Your Friend's Luxury-Flat
For those of you who don't like your roommates, or the fact that you're in a basement apartment, listen closely. Get in touch with a friend that has the biggest flat you can. Now, show up about 5-minutes after it started raining and tell them you really need a friend to talk to. Tell them (or just make up) some insane life story. After 30-minutes of thinking about your situation, the storm will be way too intense to leave, and any good friend will let you stay. Bring a bottle of a little something, but don't pull it out until it's too late for them to kick you out. Too early and they'll be on to you. (Disclaimer: Don't pull this if you’re a guy and your "friend" is a girl. Automatically throws you in the perv category).


Stock Up on Booze
What's better than getting through a rainy day than a ridiculous amount of alcohol? It helps, trust us. You should opt for a light beer, anything along the lines of Bud Light, Miller Lite, or event Natural Light (although, Natty's probably in very high demand in the city right now). Keep your fridge stacked, and maybe even a few in your freezer. But just like any other situation where you want to block everything out and just relax....beer won't do. When the power goes out you're stuck with a ton of beer in your fridge, and only a matter of time before things start to warm up in there. Get yourself a nice bottle of bourbon for the hurricane experience. After a few swigs of that and a dozen beers, that hurricane will seem more like the foggy mist from a fantasy movie.


Might As Well Make It Romantic
"Talking" to someone? Got a f*** buddy? In a relationship? Married? If romance is in your life, a hurricane can be the best chance to heat it up or get to know each other better. Have a silent rave with your iPods when the lights go out, watch it rain with a candlelit dinner and drinks, get really into each other's life, or just shag until the rain stops.


Call Your Florist - ASAP!
If you're a fan of natural indulgences buy your plants as early as possible, because the drive-by-florist will both A) be out of supplies and B) not be able to ride his bike in the rain with high-speed gusts of wind. Don't be afraid to pay premium for those "ferns," cos' man, about midway through the rain, when the power's out, the internet is down, the bourbon's wiped out, you're all sexed out, and all you have is a comic book that was used as packing material to entertain you, you'll sure be glad you did. Then you'll think to yourself, "Damn, what a pretty green fern." (Side Note: Make sure you stock up on Cheetos, Combos or Funyuns.)



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