New Years has become so mundane over the past hundred years or so. Keep in mind that New Years happens annually. Let’s not get caught in a trend of tacky New Year’s rituals. Here are a few to avoid. All violators will be tased.
The Midnight Kiss
All readers under the age of 15 are exempt from this one. As for the adults, kissing at the stroke of midnight is an extremely stale gesture. Well, that’s only if it’s intentional. Unless you’re ringing in the New Year with moans and pokes, then kissing at midnight will result in the tasing of both parties.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching fireworks as much as the next guy. Watching. When lighting your own fireworks, you never get to fully enjoy the experience. Running back and forth every few seconds to light another fuse can become tedious. Not to mention, your audience will feel neglected in the sacrifice for a light show. Avoid potential disasters. Leave it to the pros.
As if we all weren’t already paying attention to the time. Making a spectacle of yourself won’t get you laid once 12:00 a.m. strikes. Performing a 10-second countdown is likely to result in the orchestrator looking like a jackass. Hopefully you have something planned after that 10-second buildup, otherwise the anticipation will turn into confusion. “Why was I holding my hand up before?” Insert a shot glass into that hand, then your New Years countdown won’t be in vain.
Partying Too Hard
Try and be alive for the New Year, not staring into a toilet bowl. Who wants to spend the first day of the New Year hung-over? Be sure to realize that the world doesn’t end after 11:59p.m., not this year at least. Live it up for the night, but remember you have responsibilities to tend to the next day. Scratch that thought, New Years is on a Saturday night/Sunday morning this year. What better day to be hung-over than a Sunday? What the hell, party hard. It’s New Years.
New Years Resolutions
Surely, we are all in concurrence on this one. You’re not going to stick to it. Don’t waste your time. By the time summer arrives, you’ll have forgotten all about it. Work on gradually becoming a better person and live the next year the way you’d like to. No need to set lofty goals, take a drink and laugh.