The Downside of Being Hung

by JRL
02.16.2010

Beware: A club’s liability is limited to the coat check girls’ limited abilities.

On any given winter evening in Manhattan there is an exchange: I give you $4 and an opportunity not to fuck up, you give me ‘tude and someone else’s shit. There’s a reason we keep coat check girls in a dark closet.

The job is far from complex; it’s the same mundane task repeated each time a coat is checked, but still, the outcome is no surprise. It’s a 500 capacity venue and there is one high-school-equivalency-degree diva armed with ticket stubs and the attention span of an iPod Shuffle. This is why things get lost and create other problems, which radiate throughout the club. Understaffed inefficiencies spawn holdups that lead to a loss of bar revenue and a sadly sobering experience. The problem has gotten so bad that lines forming at the coat check are now longer than “lines” being sucked through twenties in the restrooms.

Similar to checked airline luggage, it takes only one loss to want to switch carriers and start carrying-on. My “grounding” experience was in early ’09 at now defunct, “Citrine.” It was there that some “Ticket-Master-Mind” exchanged my Canali Cashmere for Paraguay Polyester which was sold off of a Nigerian’s blanket on Canal Street. Regardless of brand, there is no excuse to lose a Banana Republic trench when the person responsible literally comes from the Republic of Banana.

The Hustle: who hasn’t caught on to the lone-Lincoln in your jar as your attempt to manipulate ticket-holding patrons by setting tipping trends. The going gratuity rate is $2 per jacket, returned, dry and undamaged, which is more than I can say about how you'll end up at evening's end. Are all of our Jacket Jockettes incapable? Short answer: no. However, coat-check Camilla wouldn’t know Loro Piana from Lands' End and couldn’t care less if you're wearing Couture or dressed like Michael Moore.   

Coat check girls reportedly have the highest suicide rate of all nightlife industry occupations (surprisingly not by hanging), but it’s not a dead-end gig for all. Many coat checkers end up coming out of the closet faster than a Republican legislator. In fact, the legendary Mariah Carey started out working the coat checkroom (this is where her former Sony-Music-Mogul husband discovered her). But back to you Camilla: unless you can sing me the reason as to why you can’t find my scarf, either blow a “Mottola” or get off your Motorola.

Are they all walk-in-closet whores? No – because no matter how “hung” your jacket, coat check girls are satisfied with “just the tip.”

Click here to follow JRL on Facebook and Twitter. For more JEWced be sure to check back every Monday at clubplanet.com/jrl.

The comments stated in this column are Justin Ross Lee's personal opinions and do not represent the opinion of Clubplanet.com or any one of its parent companies.

 

follow Clubplanet @  
More About Nightlife
Click here for RSS feed
Above & Beyond Announce New Album for 2018
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica}p.p2 {margin:...
The ClubPlanet Interview: Sir Ivan
Sir Ivan is a musical superhero.  Dressed in a bejeweled cape; his mission is to...
Music for the Masses
A roundup of great house, electro, progressive, pop and vocal dance tracks. Wolfgang...
Music for the Masses
A roundup of great house, electro, progressive, hardstyle and vocal dance tracks. GoodLuck -...
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  True2Life ft Lady Bunny - (For You) I’ll Wait
Sunday Funday:  True2Life ft Lady Bunny - (For You) I’ll Wait - [UNIQUE2RHYTHM] The...
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  Steven Redant & Peyton - Let It Shine
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  Steven Redant & Peyton - Let It Shine - [SWISHCRAFT] “Let it Shine”...
Music for the Masses: Miami Music Edition
Special Miami edition - the best new music we heard on South Beach during Miami Music Week and...
SUNDAY FUNDAY: Afro Bros ft Ghetto Flow - 18+
SUNDAY FUNDAY:   Afro Bros ft Ghetto Flow - 18+ - [SPINNIN] People throw a lot of...
Tags
blog     citrine     coatcheck     jrl     justinrosslee     mariahcarey     newyork     newyorkcity     nightclub     ny     nyc

Log in here to submit a tag

CP Buzz on facebook

Music for the Masses
A roundup of great house, electro, progressive, pop and vocal dance tracks. Wolfgang...
Music for the Masses
A roundup of great house, electro, progressive, hardstyle and vocal dance tracks. GoodLuck -...
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  True2Life ft Lady Bunny - (For You) I’ll Wait
Sunday Funday:  True2Life ft Lady Bunny - (For You) I’ll Wait - [UNIQUE2RHYTHM] The...
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  Steven Redant & Peyton - Let It Shine
SUNDAY FUNDAY:  Steven Redant & Peyton - Let It Shine - [SWISHCRAFT] “Let it Shine”...
Music for the Masses: Miami Music Edition
Special Miami edition - the best new music we heard on South Beach during Miami Music Week and...
Above & Beyond Announce New Album for 2018
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica}p.p2 {margin:...
The ClubPlanet Interview: Sir Ivan
Sir Ivan is a musical superhero.  Dressed in a bejeweled cape; his mission is to...
The ClubPlanet Interview: Dave Winnel
Doing interviews is a challenge for DJs.  They are often stuck in a room answering the same...
The ClubPlanet Interview: Junior J
Spinnin is the breeding ground for the next generation of DJ talent.   Martin Garrix,...
The ClubPlanet Interview: Rodg
Armin van Buuren called Rodg “one of the best producers of 2016” and when you listen to his album...