Jersey Shore: The Eighth Wonder of the World

Jersey Shore: The Eighth Wonder of the World

by Sara Lambert
01.15.2010

Niagara Falls. Machu Pichu. The Sphinx. These sites are among the greatest treasures of the world, places people only dream about experiencing and seeing before they kick the bucket. These awe-inspiring locales were uncovered millennia ago, during an exciting era of discovery and revelation.

People of Earth – a new dawn of discovery is upon us.

Just when we thought the world couldn’t throw us any more surprises or incredible findings, none other than MTV stumbled upon the Fountain of Youth– aka, the Jersey Shore. Brilliantly documented in the same vein as Planet Earth, The Jersey Shore reveals the marvels of this beach-side strip of real estate, and the exotic conditions are unlike anything we have ever seen or experienced before.

The Jersey Shore’s native people – the Guidos and Guidettes – have established unique mating rituals (the fist pump), and evolutionary processes have adapted their appearance as a survival mechanism (the orange coating absorbs the extreme UV rays, while the blow-outs seem to mirror the armor of an armadillo). These adaptations are most notable against the backdrop of their natural surrounding – the nightclub. If you are a natural-born Charles Darwin, or want to take up guido-watching as a hobby, make sure you take your studies to these four Jersey Shore hot spots in order to see the Guido and Guidette in their prime.

 

KARMA

Attached to Seaside Heights watering hole Luna Rosa (one of the areas best restaurants), lies Karma, The Jersey Shore crews favorite joint in town. It’s where Pauly D showed off his Italian pride on the turntables, where Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart have loved and have fought, and where Vinny pounced and landed on a hot-to-trot cougar (who was coincidentally Danny “The Boss” man’s date). The music is always thumping at Karma, whether you are grinding up on stage, on the dance floor, or outside on the patio area getting in fist fight because some girl just called your girl Snooks fat (we’re talking to you, J-Woww). 

 

THE HEADLINER

This Neptune, New Jersey retreat is where Vinny and co. go when they are “looking to have more of a classy night.” The Headliner is a 24,000 sq. ft. oasis with an outside area and two volleyball courts. Tom, a staff member of The Headliner, says that the cast would often frequent his establishment, and that viewers can expect to see the cast there more often as the season progresses. 

 

 

 

BEACHCOMBER BAR & GRILL

It was the punch felt around the world. When Snooki took a fist to the face, it felt as if an injured gazelle was attacked by a ferocious lion – a completely unfair and violent circumstance. If you are a particularly astute Jersey Shore viewer, than you may have noticed that the gang was congregating in the Beachcomber Bar & Grill fight night. However, don’t let Snooki-gate tarnish your view of this Jersey Shore establishment; the Beachcomber is actually a pretty stand-up spot, with live music every weekend from bands such as the Juggling Suns (the #1 NJ-based jam band) and the Matt Noffsinger Band (voted best cover band by readers of Night and Day Magazine). Their drink specials are also a knock-out (too soon?), with $1.50 Bud Light drafts all day, every day. 

 

THE HOT TUB

The hot tub is the ultimate breeding grounds for Guidos and Guidettes, and no one tests that theory more than the cast of The Jersey Shore. Mike “The Situation” and Pauly D bring all their conquests back to this bubbly paradise, and 3 times out of 10, they actually mate. Sure, there are less hotties with Bump-Its and Ed Hardy gear, and more lagoon creatures – aka “Grenades” – that strip and dip but, hey – whatever it takes to spread the Guido seed!

 

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Tags
bar     beach     beachcomberbarandgrill     celebrities     grill     guido     hottub     jerseyshore     karma     mtv     newjersey     nightclub     nj     seasideheights     theheadliner

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