Most Common Nightlife Resolution for 2010

Most Common Nightlife Resolution for 2010

by Pete Tremblay
01.07.2010

T.S Elliott wrote, “For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” In the case of 2010, the voice that is screaming at us from within sounds quite a bit like Jiminy Cricket scolding us for drinking too much of the “potion” and being transformed into a half jack-ass half puppet at the fair! In the spirit of a New Year, we must resolve to change the things that we regret or could do better, or are just plain embarrassed of. Most New Year’s Resolutions have something to do with a broad and easily attainable concept, but this year, we need to step it up and move forward! I present to you, the Clubplanet Resolution, 2010!

In 2010, I resolve to…

06. Close my tab at the end of every night – What’s worse than getting home and realizing that you were too hazy to remember to close your tab BEFORE you leave the club? The Awkward conversation and subsequent tripling of your fare home when the cabby has to bring you back to the club, only to turn right back around and drag your drunk ass home again. just to get paid for the first trip! Even worse yet is when you finally do scribble a 4th graders version of your John Hancock on the slip and realize that you spent an additional $40 more than you thought you did. Next time, pull some cash out.

05. Not black out in the bathroom due over consumption on days that are not my birthday – Does what you can remember of your night downtown remind you of lyrics from an Andrew W.K. song? Do you send Christmas cards to the bouncers of your favorite haunt, apologizing for the innumerable amount of times you have shared your regurgitated whiskey sour with their shirt/pants/faces?  You might be indulging a little bit too much at the club. Keep it classy, but if you are going to get schwaaaassted, at least drink some redbull to keep your ass awake.  

04. Not wear the same damned clothes every time you go to the same damn bar – Everyone has their “I look shit hot tonight!” outfit, especially if you are what we like to consider a “Downtown regular”. As much as everyone loves a character, it is not necessarily a good thing to have that black vest and those white pants acting as your wingman every time you want to look good on the dance floor. Mix it up! But keep a familiarity and common style that will increase your notoriety and decrease your predictability all at the same time! 

03. Not bum cigarettes off of everyone and their brother all the time – Its one thing to ask an attractive someone for a smoke to break the ice and start a conversation, but its quite another to be that random nicotine junky annoyingly hovering around a group of smokers expecting to get a hand out every time someone takes a cig break. Buy your own pack! Or at very least bug the cigarette rep for the 2 free packs a week you’re entitled to as a promotional tactic! You could also just quit smoking and save yourself some cash, all while prolonging your life and fighting halitosis.

02. Try something/go somewhere new – Variety is the spice of life, so they say. Apply this to your weekly nightlife schedule. Heard about that new bar on the beach where they spin the entirety of Motown’s Galaxy of Stars from the 50’s and 60’s? Grab a friend and check it out, you might learn/hear something new, or meet someone you otherwise would have never run into. It’s good to expand your comfort zone, and it gives you a place to go when the old joint is feeling a bit stale.

01. Not have a one night stand; unless it’s absolutely worth it – It is not my place to implement any moral attitude or idea, however, think about it. Some say its better to go home with anyone than it is to go home alone, but do you always think that the next morning? If your going to let a total stranger into your pants, at least make sure your adhering to some sort of standard… if you have to keep reminding yourself while walking to the taxi that “at least she has …” or “he DID buy me a shit load of drinks…” maybe you thank them for the evening and grab the next one. This of course does not apply to the person that you’ve been eyeing since you got there, who was obviously hot before you had that 7th jack and coke and reminds you of Megan Fox. If you’re going to put another notch in your bed post, best be proud of it.

 

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