I love Halloween. Dressing up is such a high—the thrill of assuming an alter-ego, throwing all inhibitions out the window, and, ahem, lettin’ dem bitties frolic in the crisp Autumn air. But alas, I’m getting older, and Ricky’s slutty options are getting staler with every passing year. But to capture this year’s zeitgeist, check out my quick and easy costume options below:
Easy Costume Option # 1 Sexy Grindhouse Amputee
I can’t stand Rose McGowan. I’ll bet money she’s one of those sluts that had to bonk a million producers to land a role. Jesus Christ, the girl married (and bonked!) Marilyn Manson. But one thing’s for sure—she’s got good T&A. Especially when said A is attached to a semi-automatic weapon.
Easy Costume Option # 2 McLovin (from Superbad)
Every frat brother dressed as Borat in 2006 will be rocking the glasses, Aladdin vest and Peter Brady squeak in 2007.
Easy Costume Option #3 Paris, Lindsay and Nicole BFF
Here’s your low-hanging fruit. A nice ripe bunch, too. Need another one? Try Britney and Lilo in Rehab. At least your boyfriend can come along as a Trust-Fund Rockstarfarian.
Easy Costume Option # 4 Sexy Preggers Grey’s Anatomy Chick
Judd Apatow ain’t got nothin’ on us. Dr. Izzie Stevens was still ever so sexy in Knocked Up, even with her baby bump. Perhaps it was her motherly glow. Perhaps it was her massive boobage. She’s still the hottest prego chick since Demi on Vanity Fair.
Easy Costume Option # 5 Miss Teen USA South Carolina
U.S. American childrens need a role model. For the Africans, and such. Just ask the Iraq.
Easy Costume Option # 6 Sexy John Travolta in Drag
Scientology and autistic kid jokes aside, JT (no the other JT) was once a fine looking fellow. Am I the only one that remembers Saturday Night Fever? Rhinestone Cowboy? Grease??? I even named my lumpy body pillow boyfriend after Danny Zuco. Travolta doing the drag thang in Hairspray is kinda a turn on. Maybe because he does resemble my body pillow.
Easy Costume Option # 7 Sexy Transformer
Mint Ferrari and 24-7 sex machine? Ahhhh yeeeah.
Easy Costume Option # 8 Sexy Hermione from Harry Potter
Ok, it’s kinda wrong. But the young star is on her way to Lohandom. I mean, she’s said she’s open to taking nudie shots… for films that is. Pulled off the right way and you won't have to worry about any statutory wand wielding.
Scan more ideas from last year. Or if you’re all set, check out this year’s Halloween party line-up.