Should Girls Approach Guys at the Bar? (Hint: No)

Should Girls Approach Guys at the Bar? (Hint: No)

by Diana Kost
05.06.2008

I've never approached a guy in a bar, lounge, or club. This may seem a little weird, as I spent my teenage years being conditioned to believe Samantha-esque behavior was okay, even encouraged. In the 2000s, a woman should go after what she wants, right?

Wrong.

At least for me. I’m all about going after what I want when it applies to a job or networking opportunity. But when it comes to guys, they’re just not important enough to chase. If I see an attractive guy, I’ll be more than willing to smile, twice even if he misses the point, but approach him? Never. He’s either not interested or not man enough to approach me on his own. I don’t need either of that in my life.
samantha sex in the city.jpg
Perhaps my refusal to come up to guys also stems from fear that I will be rejected. This, too, is a possible explanation, but I choose not to focus on negativity so much. I like to believe I am the confident mysterious girl who doesn’t have to approach anyone. Sounds snobby, but haven’t we all learned that being easy is a turn off? Sure, I can come up to some guy and offer to buy him a drink. But then he’ll know I’m interested and why should he bother trying after that? (i.e. trying, for instance, to remember my name.) I would rather he buy me a drink and put a little effort into getting me to sleep with him. Trust me, girls. Sooner or later he'll stop trying anyway. And the honeymoon stage should be all about you, not him. 

Don’t get me wrong. Just because I don’t believe in approaching guys doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong. If Sex in the City has taught me anything it’s that there's an all too small pool of eligible bachelors in New York--especially at night. A lot of single girls have to approach the guy before some other chick does. And since it's slim pickin's in most venues, (See: Ovary Parties), your best bet is to just stand in line all night because that’s where most of them will be. He may not be the coolest guy, but who cares? Standards are reserved for the mysterious girls who can either deny or accept a guy’s request, not for the girl on the lookout.

Oh, by the way. Being as slutty as Samantha is easy. Most guys won’t turn down a girl who’s willing to go home with him. But the hard part isn't being as slutty, it's being as detached.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off in the Comments below.


 

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