Boo-Hoo :(
Wait a minute… you mean to tell me that this Hollywood club is both crowded AND staffed by cranky bar-keeps and bouncers? Unbelievable! The Vanguard must be the only one, Hmm. Strange, since every other So-Cal club that I’ve visited has been as empty as a graveyard, and the staff treated me like royalty even when I was blackout-drunk and buying my well drinks and Monsters with a credit card… one drink at a time… on a closed tab.
Although I have yet to try out the Vanguard, I think that I will give it a shot despite all of the poor reviews. Here is what I am going to do to guarantee that I have a good time.
Since I like to fly by the seat of my pants, I’m going to plan to go next weekend (about seven days from now). This should give me enough time to do some sensible things like… uh… oh yeah! Go to my bank/ATM and get some cash! $200 ought to do it, a couple of 20’s and some singles. This way, when I get thirsty I can walk over to the bartender and say, “Hey! I’ll have a drink, please.” At which point the bartender will provide me with the drink that I asked him or her for and I can pull the cash from my pocket and leave a tip (that’s what the singles are for). Remember, bartenders work for tips, they have a mouth to feed just like you. Cash makes them happy, which is good for you. Ever wonder why you never get service at a busy bar and it seems like the bartenders are just going back and forth between a few customers and ignoring you? Well, those are the people paying with cash.
Aside from just being good manners, paying with cash is sexy. How’s that you might ask? Well, for one thing, when you discreetly produce a big wad of 20’s from your pocket and slide one of them over to the young bar-maid, all the while giving that smile/wink that says “keep the change,” you come off as a suave mo-fo to your date/girlfriend/hump-buddy/bro/man-crush/what have you. This is good for you. Secondly, when you pay in cash, it shows to the person for whom you just purchased said beverage that you have many things… namely; a job, manners, tact, and the foresight to stop by the bank before a night out like big kids do.
So do yourself a favor and don’t be that chump who pulls out daddy’s plastic whenever you get thirsty in a club. Bring cash, use will call (lines are for suckers in case you couldn’t tell), and try smiling from time to time… frowning is ugly and it doesn’t improve your chances of getting laid.
