lsmft (unregistered)
says:
(12.24.2010)
Patron
The worst time I've ever had at a strip club. The Penthouse Club is now sadly a Gold Club. We noticed the changes in the parking lot - From full on a Friday night to empty.
The gaggle of bouncers smoking and laughing in the parking lot could have opened the door for us or told us that beer needed to stay in the car. They didn't. Inside we were spoken to like children by a desk girl, who was in middle of a cell conversation, and told return the beer to our cars.
Heads up - This place is NO LONGER a BYOB establishment.
Against my better judgment we returned to pay a cover charge, listen to the front desk's phone conversation, watch her count out $110 singles for the hundred I gave her, and opened our own door to the main stage area - One dancer, three patrons and two servers. There must have been a DJ also 'cause someone was playing hair ballads.
Three hair ballads in we tipped the only dancer even though she had her clothes on and a large ban-aid on the crack of her ass. Instead of correcting the situation by removing her clothes or letting us peak under the bandage, she thanked us and left. A bouncer pushing menu items informed us that a dancer should be on stage (Ya think?). He then shared that there was a new nude side and that the hair ballad side was topless because we had to order all of our liquor there (we ordered none).
Back through the doors (Don't worry, I've got it), around the desk clerk who waited 'til we were past her to yell something intelligible and into - another empty room.
WTF - A platform smaller than the empty table stages on the hair ballad side and the same dancer we watched topless. There's an empty bar and the same group of bouncers from the parking lot. The rest of my group said they were going to the other side - girls must be on stage by now.
I sat down - I wasn't going anywhere until I saw some nudity.
Throwing a bunch of ones at the platform I realized that the minute stage was a converted bathroom. A lone toilet remained and a single piece of gypsum board separated "unisex" toilet from dancing platform. Just as I was working out how the bathroom could be entered without tripping the dancer - Her hand went to her g-string, she pulled it to the side and a face entered my entire field of vision.
The bouncer from the other side who was pushing menu items BLOCKED MY VIEW OF NUDITY. I'm sitting in a ripped-up chair at a wobbly table two inches from the toilet stage and a bouncer BLOCKED MY VIEW OF NUDITY.
I had to know what was wrong with this man so I asked. He responded that the club had changed and that there were menus and food and liquor and topless and - Apparently we were to be checked for alcohol (a changed club rule) and instead walked past the desk girl without stopping on our way to the nude side. She had sent Mr. Menu to make sure I didn't violate their new liquor license/food menu/no fun/suck music/empty/toilet stage format in some way.
The dancer of course had left the platform before Mr. Menu finished his diatribe and my friends came back from the topless side to report that no one was dancing there at all. The menu bouncer continued talking. He rambled about marketing and giving customers options and menu and liquor -- We backed away from him and made our escape vowing never to return.
