“But Woods found a way to enjoy the best of both worlds in one type of woman, a Venn diagram of sexual satisfaction. Most of his mistresses lived in a nebulous in-between world. Not prostitutes, no, but just about halfway there. As surely as he has changed the game of golf, so too has Woods exposed the grazing ground of the halfway-hooker, and her natural habitat, the nightclub.” -Lisa Taddeo, New York Magazine

From a line of great New York Magazine nightlife articles – “Power Girls,” “Make Moves Blow Up Get Paid,” and many others like it – comes this week’s “The Half Hooker Economy.” Like an Egyptian magician, Tiger Woods has not only ruined his image, but has turned bottle service waitresses into “halfway hookers,” promoters into “pimps,” and nightclubs into dens of sin and inequity (monikers that will, for the near future, be enjoyed by the media, the haters, and the self deprecators). Years ago, at the dawn of the Meatpacking District, I attended a birthday party for a prominent member of the nightlife elite. There were about 75 people there and Tiger was in attendance with Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter, Charles Oakley, and Charles Barkley. All the boys were getting after it that night – girls, booze, whatever else – but not Tiger. Like an innocent school girl he sipped his drink in the corner. I almost wanted to shake him and say “loosen up dude, life is good.” Well, we all know how that story ended. I guess someone shook him a little too hard.

As illustrated in Lisa Taddeo’s article/dramatic epic, in New York Magazine (link below), there are definitely some bottle service waitresses who are all-the-way hookers, blowjob hookers, coke whores, and, the new label, “halfway” hookers amongst other things. But with that said, not illustrated, there are exceptions to this rule and many incredible women who have blossomed from the world of nightlife. I personally know many actresses, chefs, teachers, mothers, fashion executives and other professional woman who at one time or another needed the Lucci provided by their looks and Cucci to help achieve their dreams. Sadly, many times this is not the case, and the vices of easy money and fast living take hold. Innocence and potential are lost, like watching life on fast forward. 

I have less of an issue with natural selection than with the question – why are we acting as if this is something new? All of a sudden we are stunned at the mere mention of wild antics, baseless materialism, and the needs of the male ego. We are largely a failed species doomed to repeat the mistakes of Studio 54 and create more complex problems, just like our former friend Tiger. Since the beginning of time, beautiful women have been using their sexuality, eyes, asses, and smiles, to manipulate powerful men and separate them from their money. Helen of Troy was known as the “face that launched a thousand ships.” Her beauty brought about the Trojan War. If she moved a thousand ships, imagine how many Methusalem and Jeroboams of Dom P or PJ Rose she could have sold? Do I dare say that Rachel Uchitel is a modern day version of Helen of Troy? No, that would definitely be waxing poetic, but she is a far more appealing villain to look at, than say, Monica Lewinsky? 

Rachel has always been nothing but cordial to me and even dated one of my friends. She was absolutely the best at what she did while she did it, although she was definitely known to be slightly unstable at times. As I learn more about her story, I am sure that the trauma of her loss in 9/11 greatly affected her everyday life, whether she knows it or not. Like the space-time continuum, this trauma has created an alternate Rachel, who has become the A-Rod or Michael Jordan, of the bottle service game. She just got the biggest contract in the history of bottle service waitressing – ten million dollars plus endorsements. In our screwed up society, Rachel is an undercover role model for the largest generation of gold diggers (GDs) ever to hit the streets. These girls don’t even know they are GDs; they are entitled and unrepentant, because they don’t know anything else. They grew up over 20 years of economic GO time, where bottle service, Bentleys, and Chanel ruled the world. Now things are changing and like Casey Johnson, whether they had the money or not, they are confused. They inevitably see a path to easy money and they take it, with little knowledge that they are giving up their soul and eventually will have to pay the price. The devil always collects.   

A quick side note: amongst these GDs are tons of girls out there that aren’t bottle service waitresses or halfway hookers, but just hang around guys who purchase bottles and tables regularly. Does this make them quarter-way hookers or even three-quarter hookers? Is it better or worse that they are willing to hang out with guys who buy bottles and go home with them, opposed to serving them drinks and doing the same. What determines your level of “hookerishness” – whether you earn money, presents, or your intentions? Bottle service made pimps out of guys who otherwise wouldn’t get a second look, because of power and status. It makes me think of a Billy Joel lyric, “all you need are looks and a whole lot of money." Nowadays all you need is a table and a decent Facebook profile.

The problem for the nightlife and hospitality industry is that we will all miss bottle service if it ever goes away. Like an addict who drops his last hit in the toilet, we are destructing our gravy train. It is impossible to drive the kinds of revenues needed to support the clubs and all of their staff without bottle service, especially the way our spaces are currently built. Bartenders cannot physically ring in more than $3k to $4k in a night, so one table can easily surpass an entire bartender’s night of sales. I guess we could bring back the cover charge, but none of us want to spend years listening to people beg for comps, it just seems gauche and unsexy. I don’t think that bottle service is really going anywhere, especially in major markets. There seems to be plenty of wealthy men and boys, excited at the prospect of living big, even if only for a night. Having a table allows you a glimpse or taste of living the American Dream, without the work. I always say, being in this business, I would never buy a table, but make me a schnook sitting in the corner and my AmEx will fly out of my wallet into the hands of my “halfway hooker” (aka soon to be sister in law, mother of 3, or student at FIT).

When I was reading the New York Magazine article, I felt like bottle service and its excesses are the final frontier of a cultural 360. Rachel and Tiger are being nailed to the cross, until their eventual rebirth and salvation, her as an Extra correspondent and him as golf’s greatest ever. What does America love more than a comeback?  The anger and blame of society’s ills has trickled down and we need victims, some deserving or some not. First we hated George Bush, then Wall St, then we loved Obama, now half of America hates Obama, and now we are overthrowing the privileged and eating their young. Tiger Woods, Lindsey Lohan, the list goes on and on. With its death rattle, the recession and cultural change is having dessert on bottle service and the lowly waitress. And then there was no one left.

So call them what you will, but don’t fool yourself into thinking this problem is new or you are any better than they are, they are just small time hustlers in the larger game of life.

CLICK HERE TO READ “THE HALFWAY HOOKER ECONOMY”

See you next time at Cocktail Hour, where more often than not one drink turns into ten and no one knows where and when the night will end.
-AP

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” -Erich Fromm

So I am just finishing up this season’s final trip to Miami. Miami has been a sanctuary the last few months, allowing me to escape New York snowstorms, both real and imagined. I was in Miami to throw some events for WMC at the Mondrian Hotel and Opium Group’s newly re-launched Mokai. Mokai is designed by Marc Lehmkuhl, managed by Arris formerly of Phillipe, and gunning for the Miami hipsters similarly to Coco De Ville. I also visited with friends – some new, some old – stayed up way too late doing foolish things, and listened to some of the most talented DJs in the world. This year, I have heard more chatter than usual about Ultra Music Festival, WMC’s main event. Ultra is a two-day electronic version of Woodstock featuring performers such as David Guetta, Tiesto, Deadmau5, Passion Pit, Erick Morillo, Paul Oakenfold, and many more. I have been noticing a strong resurgence of mass interest in music festivals and think this trend is just beginning (almost like there is a new-style hippy movement developing around our youth culture’s values). For me, thousands of people rocking to Guetta on ecstasy sounds transplendent in theory, but not so much in practice. I will say that despite WMC’s tendency to bring out guidos and the woman that love them, there seemed to be many more New Yorkers present than in the past couple of years.

For many moons I have been saying how unusual it is that there is no New York version of Winter Music Conference. Our city has quite possibly the most recognized nightlife culture in the world and yet we have never organized an event to celebrate what we have accomplished. Right now I am issuing a challenge to the nightlife community to make this happen. Not a political event, but more an event to celebrate the many positive aspects of our business, drive visitation to our clubs, and provide another reason to party like it’s 2010. I am told that Ultra Music Festival is planning an event this summer in New York, but I have not gotten the details yet. Maybe this is more evidence of the nightlife renaissance, or maybe “I am the king of wishful thinking.”

When I return to New York it will be April 1st. In my mind, this is the true beginning of the party calendar year in Manhattan. First come the brunches, then later nights, less clothes, and eventually the onslaught of roof-decks marching us toward summer. Inevitably there will be the “it-song” that seems like it will never get old, the crazy nights that you hope will never end, the drunken afternoons drowned in Rose when you look up, wishing the sun won’t set. Spring has the ability to make all things seem new and possible. All the creativity, ideas, and scheming of the party g-ds during the winter months will be unleashed upon the public. Customers are thirsty to espouse the virtues of the ideas they love, but actually and factually, tell twice as many people about things they don’t like. Well, here are a couple of things I am excited for this coming spring, and a few things I am saying goodbye to… “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad…”

Philly’s Exciting Things About Spring:

Kenmare: With all the right Fashion Week preview events, some neighborhood/SLA backlash, and an “official” opening last week; Kenmare has all the makings of a great New York drama. The new restaurant from Nur Khan (Rose Bar), Paul Sevigny (Beatrice Inn) and consulting chef Joey Campanaro (Little Owl) is sure to be the most interesting venue opening over the next couple of months. They are making a serious effort to establish this spot as more restaurant than lounge. How they do this will remain to be seen. I have the utmost faith in Nur’s abilities to do so, but stranger things have happened. The menu seems to be simple Mediterranean with some NYC/local “fun” items. Highlights include basil gnocchi, broccoli-beer soup, Halibut with chive mashed stroganoff, and the standard of the moment: a meatball slider. Sounds delicious, but you will probably have to give up your first born to try it. The real question, is the scene hot enough and the slider delicious enough, for a piece of your soul? I will give up a piece of mine and get back to you with the results.   

Pulino's: Keith Mcnally’s new pizza joint. How does this man know the perfect location to open restaurants? Is it the location or him? He has defined bistro culture, expanding it into Italy, but with his own signature sensibility. It is this distinct signature on the New York hospitality and social landscape that will be his lasting legacy. Far after his time people will be talking about his restaurants and their impact. This time he takes us to the Bowery, and as usual serves three meals a day, but in a new twist brings in notable chef Nate Appleman to accompany him in the limelight. So far, the signature square-cut pies have been sampled by Martha Stewart, Charlie Rose, Calvin Trillin, Nora Ephron, Simon Hammerstein, Michael Symon, David Byrne, Courtney Love, Jude Law, Bill Murray, and many more. It seems the thing to try is the “Pizze + Uova.” I am told the Salsiccia consists of eggs, sausage, bacon, mozzarella, and white cheddar. The center of the Bowery/Nolita universe has shifted to Pulino’s. Damn this fucking guy is good.

ABC Kitchen: Not since Mercer Kitchen in 1998 has Jean Georges really ventured back into what I believe is his most comfortable space. Maybe it is too pedestrian for him or maybe it’s not what a four-star chef “should do.” With that said, like Armani designing a casual t-shirt for American Apparel or the perfectly deconstructed suit, so exists ABC Kitchen. A great chef’s true colors come out when he doesn't overcomplicate his work, enjoys beautiful ingredients and makes them shine. At ABC Kitchen, a space previously owned by JV’s partner, Phil Suarez, I have seen beautiful, raw ingredients shine in a beautifully airy environment. The chef succeeds in deconstructing the vibe, décor, and food, without sacrificing quality. I enjoyed the shaved Fluke with blood orange, raw Maine sweet shrimp with horseradish, roast carrot and avocado salad, sautéed Arctic Char with a cauliflower Romanesco, and a side of baked endive with ham and gruyere. For dessert, we enjoyed the ice cream sundae with salted caramel peanut ice cream, but I definitely regret not trying the carrot cake with lemon buttercream. The food is sublime, the environment is relaxed, and the restaurant is “green” – ABC Kitchen is a blueprint for modern chef driven restaurants. Give us the food, décor, and the service, but keep the stuffy formal BS for graduations and anniversaries. 

The Sandwich Revolution: All hail the recession gourmets. First it was burgers, then it was pizza, a quick stop over on Bahn Mi and Meatballs, and now we are full steam ahead into the sandwich revolution. Everyone loves a sandwich, the perfect combination of textures, sauces, hot/cold, delicious veggies, and moist meats. It is a simple pleasure that with good ingredients and miniscule effort, can become mind blowingly delicious. I always remember Cliff Huxtable aka Bill Cosby, slipping into the kitchen and making monstrous sandwiches behind Phylicia Rashad’s back.  Anyway, it’s not 1985, and this ain’t Blimpie, Subway, or an old school Muffaletta. The most notable entries in the gourmet sandwich revolution include No.7 Sub Shop at the Ace Hotel, Tartinery (open-faced sandwiches) in Nolita, Salties in BK, Num Pang & Baoguette the reigning kings of Bahn Mi, and Henry Public. Even more serious restaurants are getting into the mix, like Momofuku with its mouthwatering BBQ rib and coleslaw on baguette. What is the likelihood that the New York Times starts reviewing sandwiches like it did pizza? You never know.

Return of the Roof Decks: Every landlord in Manhattan must have realized after 230 Fifth opened a few years ago, that they have roofs and they might as well make money off of them. Selling a roof deck in the summertime is like selling crack. People will do shameful things for a cocktail on a beautiful afternoon in the sun (think Chris Rock in New Jack City). “[sobbing] I tried to kick... but that shit just be callin' me man, it be callin' me, man... I just got to go to it!“ The returning players are Highbar, Hudson Terrace, The Empire Hotel, A60 at the Thompson Hotel, the Hudson Hotel’s SKY Terrace, Splash at the Gansevoort Hotel, the Bowery Hotel, and the Maritime. New kids on the block are Jeffrey Chodorow’s 20,000-square-foot Midtown Food Parc, Danny Meyer at the Gramercy Park Hotel, and the Mondrian Hotel in Nolita. There are so many that this probably merits its own article… coming soon.

Meatpacking Wars: Too many clubs, not enough spenders. 1Oak, SL, Avenue, Provocateur, Kiss & Fly, RDV, Tenjune, Marquee, Griffin. Twice as many clubs will be open once the roof-decks come online in the coming weeks and then there are brunches and the Hamptons to compete for the bottle buyers dolla dolla bills. There has been a two-year recession and pockets are light, the bodies will exist, but there will not be enough bottle-buyers to go around.  Someone is going to get hurt, prerecession rents can’t be supported by two nights a week and bar sales alone.  Like addiction it is a vicious cycle that will end with some high drama. Who will it be? When will they fall? Round and round we go, where it stops nobody knows. 

Nolita & Bowery Nightlife: Not since the days of Serafina Wednesdays, Pangaea, and REHAB has this area seen this type of nightlife renaissance. Bowery Hotel, Southside, Goldbar, Crosby Hotel, the coming Mondrian Hotel, Mike’s apartment, Kenmare, Pulinos, Madam Geneva, La Esquina, Café Select, the dreaded eyesore of the Cooper Square Hotel and so much more. This is the Ying to the Meatpacking’s Yang: real New York versus the one read about in US Weekly. In a cultural backlash, people want comfort and simplicity… and this is it. Lady Nightlife is blind and she must keep us balanced, establishing hotspots without fear or favor, regardless of identity, money, power, or weakness. Welcome back East Side, we have missed you. Your point of view is unique, and perfectly suited for this moment.

Party Brunches Part 2: Last year the nightlife world was taken by storm, as day parties and brunches unleashed themselves on New York like a party plague. Though the winter was tough, the brunches continued to grow through the avid promotion of Day & Night’s Derek and Daniel Koch and European alcoholics. Day & Night went to the Hamptons last summer and Miami during the season at Vita, competing with hotels and beach clubs like La Piaggia. Now the New York season is upon us and it is time to rock ‘n roll. The Meatpacking District and SoHo were flooded with revelers for Daniel & David’s birthday celebration on the first warm day of the year and it won’t stop. My only question is when does everyone take a break from partying? Like Studio 54, we have to pay for the sins of our youth sometime? And how do sixty year old men keep showing up to these things, alive? The whole thing is just perplexing, like watching the most incredible car crash of all time while sipping on Dom P and eating Prosciutto.

A Couple of Other Things: Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, Lost Series Finale, How to Make it in America Season Finale, Girls in dresses, rooftop BBQs, drinks in the sun, the Yankees, Cruisin, afternoon’s shopping, Union Square, morning coffee, brunch at Da Silvano, Tribeca Film Festival, Central Park, knowing that the summer is so close you can taste it. 

Goodbye:

Recession: I am an entrepreneur; I am on the front lines of this battle. Big picture things may be changing and I hope the ship is slowly turning in the direction of growth, but I am seeing many people in the worst situations they have ever been in. Many businesses are downsizing, staying in business to support the principals and break even, but not turning a profit.  When you get into the nuts and bolts, staying in business is easy, but being profitable is not.  I sincerely hope that this spring brings a loosening of consumer spending. No one is asking for boom times, but support small businesses as they are the ones who will fuel our rebound and you the customers are the ones with the power. Either way, there is a saying in nightlife, “when the economy is bad people drink. When it’s worse, they drink more.”  Lets hope they drink more, cause I can’t.

Miami 2010: Oh sweet darling, you have been very good to me. You have taken me in, a wounded soul, and nursed me back to good health. You have provided inspiration for future successes, invaluable memories, and incredible new friendships and opportunity. I apologize for some of my karaoke renditions and being the selfish one in the relationship, but I promise to pay you back tenfold next season. Take care of the kiddies while I am gone Snoop.   

My Twenties: What a decade. I have said it before and I will say it again: if you told me I would be where I am today 10 years ago, five years ago, or two years ago, I would have told you that you were out of your mind in so many ways. With that said the clichés live on, I wouldn’t trade a minute of it, and the journey has been incredible, as I am sure it is for all of you. Don’t regret a minute of the successes and the struggles, and take care of those you love. Hopefully if you are lucky, they will take care of you too.

New York in spring is the land of opportunity. What happens during this season will greatly affect the rest of your year. The most important thing is to make sure you keep your sack light, don’t let your life get weighed down by things out of your control. The world is evolving and getting smaller with every moment.  Just make sure you have some cash in your pocket, beautiful people to share the journey with, and an open mind. If you can do that, anything can happen, and it will. 

“You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.”

Happy Holidays to all my readers and friends. See you next time at Cocktail Hour, where more often than not one drink turns into ten and no one knows where and when the night will end.
-AP

“Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be.”
-Sam Cooke, What a Wonderful World

To the dismay of many chefs and restaurateurs, as of July, restaurants will be required to post letter grades from the Health Department prominently within their establishments. Chefs such as Marc Murphy of Landmarc Restaurant are calling it “unconstitutional,” saying it “violates the first amendment.”  Let’s examine the different sides of the story. 

The Germaphobe
I have had relationships with some pretty major germaphobes in my time. This new policy is the perfect vindication for their many fears. Like a culinary terror warning system, they finally have a quasi-valid reason to say, “I won’t eat in that restaurant, it looks suspicious.” Some of the best food in the world comes from the most suspicious looking places. One person’s suspicions are another’s paradise. I used to be a regular at a sandwich shop in Florence called Antico Noe. Delicious beyond reproach, but sanitary, not so much. Many days I could have been caught saying, “I won’t give up this sandwich for all the money in the world.” With that said, if I got food poisoning, I would have given up my deliciously decadent paninis in the blink of an eye. 

Germaphobes – In favor
Foodies – Torn

The Insider
I am close with a pretty big guy in the fish distribution business, maybe one of the biggest in Manhattan, if not the country. He wouldn’t eat a sushi roll with your mouth. Not even fresh Blue Fin Toro plucked from the ocean and sliced by the great Masa Takayama. I know many people who would go deep into debt for just one slice of Toro from Takayama. Makes you wonder what the fisherman has seen to be so overtly against sushi... 

Fish Supplier – In favor, personally. Not in favor from a business perspective, as it could negatively effect his customers' opinions.

The Industry
Being in this business for some time, I know that many of the health codes are obscure and difficult to follow. Under these new codes, a mistake by an employee could lead to a PR disaster. Imagine if Daniel Boulud or Jean Georges got a B or a C on an inspection. Would it have devastating long-term effects on these businesses? The germaphobes would definitely never go back would then go on to tell all of their friends. Would the blogosphere jump on the opportunity to crush these great masters of the culinary world, like a noteworthy golf professional or many a great statesman?

Anyone who has worked in restaurants, hotels, bars, nightclubs or any other hospitality business knows that an inspection is a “snapshot.” You can never judge anything on a snapshot. I'd love to tell you I'm “sexual napalm,” like John Mayer said about Jessica Simpson, that every time my pants drop, its revolutionary; but that is just not the case. Sometimes my performance is an "A" sometimes it is a "C," but it all depends on external factors – mood, dinner, the girl, how business was that week. Remember, regarding sex, as long as the letter grade isn't "S-T-D," you always have another chance to make it right.

In the same vein, many factors go into restaurateurs getting it right. Unless there are major issues of health concern, multiple inspections should be required to post these types of grades. It is the way to be fair to the business owners. 

The Industry – Definitely not in favor

The Bigger Issue
I see one much bigger problem with this policy. Most of the people in the restaurant business got into it for the same reason as many entrepreneurs: because they hated being graded by incompetents in school. Yes there are some very talented teachers, but grades are really based upon how good you are at regurgitating information, not how well you grasp concepts and implement them. Now with this new grading system, these individuals are subject to grading by many times more incompetent city workers. These workers, in many cases, are more interested in reaching their fining quotas than protecting cash-strapped businesses. It just seems like a “fuck the man” situation. So, “…I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.” 

Now let’s move on to last week’s food diary…

Wednesday: Robataya & Angel's Share
Last Wednesday I had the pleasure of dining with my friend Lee Anne Wong at Robataya. Lee Anne is the genius culinary mind, who finished 4th place on season one of Top Chef and acted as the show’s culinary producer for the rest of the seasons. More importantly, Lee Anne is generous with her culinary knowledge, sweet as hell, and super fun.

I was caught up in work earlier in the week and really did not have a chance to think much about dinner that night. Upon walking into Robataya, I was unexpectedly blown away by what I saw: two Japanese chefs sitting on their knees in the middle of a large semi circled food bar. Imagine a Benihana hibachi table, but three times as large, and instead of a grill, there is a Japanese guy in the center on his knees. Both chefs, with grills in front of them and coolers at their sides, act as both chefs and bartenders. The vegetables are set around them like a Thanksgiving cornucopia and the meats and fish are delivered to them at their posts. All the food and drinks are served by two chef/bartenders on a 10-foot-long paddle, similar to the wooden tool used to slide pizza in the oven at an old school parlor, except much longer and more narrow. 

I thought about ordering and Lee Anne encouraged it, but my better judgment told me to let her take the lead. The waiter must have known Lee Anne and the Japanese started flying. I drifted off into never never land, as I so often do when I'm not in control. The only reply I could muster was “yes” and asking for lamb chops between sips of beer. We decided to try two beers first, most notably Baird Beer. Described as a “celebratory experience of flavor,” Baird Beer is a handcrafted brew made in small batches that is both refreshing and delicious. We followed the beer with some Junmai Ginjo sake. Lee Anne explained to me that it is bad luck to pour your own sake and after each pour we toasted with the Japanese “kanpai.” With each kanpai, things got a little hazier until a tornado of Japanese delights began to head my way.

We started with perfectly grilled shishito peppers, mountain yam wrapped in nori, bamboo shoots, Tsukune (chicken meatballs with soy sauce), lamb chops, and a deliciously sweet and generous portion of king crab leg. After that we had Chawanmushi, a steamed egg custard, sort of like a savory Panna Cotta (not so much my thing). Then we had the highlight of the meal, Goma Agedashi Tofu, a fried simmered tofu in a thickened broth. The flavor was understated and perfectly smoky, perhaps the best hot Japanese dish I have ever eaten. Following this we had a preparation of asparagus that was both perplexing and delicious. Asparabou is an asparagus spear wrapped in whitefish paste and rice crackers. I did not know before and would never have known that this was whitefish; it seemed more like a delightfully light Panko crust to me. At this point you would think I was in a food coma, but the food was served in small portions and incredibly light. We finished with simmered Duck Nabe, Snow Crab Kamemeshi, and cold Udon in a rapid succession. The sake must have taken effect right at this point because I cannot for the life of me remember these dishes except for really not enjoying the frigid rubber like texture of cold Udon noodles.

After paying and receiving a thousand thank yous we checked out the hidden cocktail gem, Angel’s Share. Through a door on the second floor of a sushi joint, this cocktail bar is the real deal. Not a product of the cocktail craze, the drinks are extraordinary and prepared with care by real culinarily-influenced bartenders. Lee Anne had a Manhattan and I enjoyed a shiso-infused tequila. I have tried to be a fan of the “mixology” craze, but I have to say, more often than not I am let down.  Angel’s Share is the real deal and a must visit for anyone who wants to drink and leave with more than just a hangover.   

Thursday: The Ten Bells
This was my second visit to Ten Bells in two weeks. I have long been a believer that a wine bar doesn’t have to be boring and serious in order to serve great wines. Ten Bells is a prime example of having all the wine and the fun. The guys behind the bar definitely do not look like your standard wine snobs, as their attitude is similar to what you would find at CH favorites like Bianca, Bread, or Freeman’s Alley. There is a respect for the products being served without the need to change into a pseudo-intellectual to prove it. This hipster youth-food movement is incredibly burgeoning and exciting. I cannot wait to see how it spreads throughout the US and beyond. Ten Bells was reccomended to me by Caitlin Levin, a friend and fellow foodie who embodies this movement. Watch out for Caitlin, as she may be this movement’s downtown Martha Stewart. When she becomes famous I'll be able to say, "I told ya so."

When it comes to the food at the Ten Bells, the following are my recommendations: shrimp nachos, Cerignola olives, prosciutto and goat cheese cigars, and the white asparagus covered with a delicious chopped salad. I would avoid the crab, tomato, and avocado tar tar. There seems to be much more deliciousness to enjoy with your wine, but I have yet to get there. I will be back and the Ten Bells will be discussed again in the near future. If you visit, watch out for a random Australian gentleman at the bar – madness can ensure if you allow him to indulge you. Another word of advice: tie back your hair. On my first visit, a young Asian girl’s hair caught on fire. She freaked and the burning hair definitely did not help the bouquet of my Nero d'Avola- Frappato. Best wine bar in Manhattan – not sure. Best for the under-35 set – definitely. 

Friday: The Collective
On Friday night I was invited for a “friends and family” dinner at the new One Group spot, The Collective. One Group has been thinking of changing the One LW 12th St. concept for some time, with rumored concepts such as Sushi/japanese and a partnership with brunch impresarios Daniel & David Koch. Well, I guess they decided to go in another direction. The Collective is built of entirely reclaimed materials, a bold undertaking, since only a very talented designer can execute this without utter confusion. They seem to be playing on the green/recycling revolution by using materials such as pill bottles for chandeliers and scrabble boards for tables. When I first saw the pictures I was not really into it – it looked a little too busy for my taste. 

However, upon my arrival, I thought the venue was strangely appealing. In a picture and you can only see small areas, not necessarily getting the whole picture.  When viewed on a grander scale, with all the elements together, the aesthetic worked. It was almost like dining in a pop art exhibit. The restaurant has a very West Coast feel, with elements of classic urban Americana interspersed. The energy and vibe, the One Group’s specialty, was definitely in full effect. I can see the venue acting as much as a drinking establishment as a place for dining, which I think is the right move for this location. The service in the restaurant was great, especially considering that this was the first night of operation.

We ordered the house special disco fries, a decadent rendition of cheese fries with gravy, a Waldorf salad, the seared tuna (our favorite of the night), Hong Kong ribs, and veal meatballs served over rigatoni.  All the food was prepared well, very much in the style of upscale comfort food. My only comment is that the menu seemed a little heavy, considering the One Group’s tendency to lean toward the drink business and its Meatpacking location. I can definitely see this restaurant becoming the late-night food destination in the neighborhood and having a great brunch, but I would personally like to see a lighter and more focused dinner menu, which would make it more accessible to the “nightlifers” who spend their weekends dining in the meatpacking. I am very interested to see how this restaurant develops when they officially launch this week. I am sure the One Group will make it work, as they are one of the best in the business at finding their sweet spot.  That along with quite possibly the best location in Manhattan, should make Collective a success. 

Here is an interesting side note, according to a Nation’s Restaurant News survey a couple of years ago. Over 75% of people make their choice of restaurants based upon location. So you could open the most incredible restaurant or bar, but if it is not in a prime location, you may be precluding a large amount of your customers. Now does it make sense that all restaurateurs and bar owners want to open in hotels and casinos?      

Sunday Brunch: Bread Nolita
Bread in Nolita is located on Spring St. between Elizabeth and Mott. It has long been one of my favorite restaurants in New York because of its authentic vibe and understated cool. The restaurant used to be a third of the size and always had a wait of at least 30 minutes. The best part of the restaurant at that point was watching the cook prepare food for dozens of guests in a kitchen that was 4 ft. x 4 ft. max and only electric. About a year ago they expanded the restaurant, I guess to accommodate the demand. I understand and applaud their success, but as with all things, a little of the magic disappears when you expand based upon commercial success. More frustrating than the loss of its magic is the absence of the pesto tartines from the menu. This was one of my favorite items on the menu. It was low cost to prepare and stock and for some reason they got rid of it but still have brie and tapenade tartines. Why in g-ds name couldn’t they keep pesto????  It makes no sense.

Onwards and upwards. Despite the expansion and proliferation of wine and panini bars, Bread is still one of the top destinations in Nolita for brunch or lunch. My favorite items (still on the menu) are the tomato soup – probably the best in Manhattan – the Prosciutto Cotto panini, and the ravioli Bolognese.  There is a bunch of other good stuff on the menu, including meatballs that are sometimes too dry, but there is definitely one thing you must try on your next visit: the strawberry lemonade. It is spectacular, fresh, and probably the best non-alcoholic spring drink I can think of. I am sure it’s not that bad with some vodka mixed in either. Nolita is my favorite neighborhood in Manhattan and Bread is right up there with the best lunches in our fair city.

The End Result
Sunday night I finished the weekend with Shutter Island, along with steamed pork buns and Diver Scallops at Momofuku Ssam. A lot of people had mixed reactions to Shutter Island, but everyone told me to wait for the end. I thought the big reveal was perfectly executed and enjoyed the movie tremendously. It was a pretty ambitious undertaking by Scorcese to try and tell this story without seeming contrived. Probably not something he would have attempted earlier in his career. I would have given this movie an A, others may have given it a C, who knows and who really cares. It takes talent and balls which come from years of hard work and understanding of your craft, to even attempt these types of projects. The same applies to the many restaurateurs, chefs, and club owners trying to accomplish creative, exciting, and groundbreaking ventures.  New York is still a monumental city filled with incredible opportunity that can only be crushed by foolish and obstructionist policies. Let’s not handcuff our entrepreneurs with grading systems, let’s allow them to flourish.

I don’t want to live on Shutter Island, do you?

See you next time at Cocktail Hour, where more often than not one drink turns into ten and no one knows where and when the night will end.
-AP

“I know way too many people here right now that I didn’t know last year
who the f-ck are y’all
I swear it feels like the last few nights we’ve been everywhere and back
but I just can’t remember it all
what am I doing, what am I doing
oh yeah that’s right, I’m doing me, I’m doing me
I’m living life right now man
and this what I’m do til it's over
til it's over, but it's far from over.”

-Over by Drake

What is your lifestyle or life with style? We all live our lives, but do we all do it with style? Do you work to live or do you live to work? I know it sounds pedestrian, but I believe it is essential. Do you eat or do you dine? Do you wear your clothes or do they wear you? Can you fully embrace where you are or do you spend the entire time wishing you were somewhere else?  Are you speaking to the person you are with or are you speaking with your Blackberry? What is your point of view? Do you have one?

In everything that you do there should be a piece of you and your perspective. Don’t eat, drink, fuck, travel, laugh or anything because you think you should. You are an individual. What are you conforming to – nothing but imaginary guidelines. It is funny that we think people are weird if they don’t act like everyone else, but only until we make them into the Lady Gagas, La Rouxs, and the Kid Cudis. I am thinking there is a new breed of American Psycho. No more conforming, just breaking out and doing whatever it is that makes you happy. It took 30 years for me, how long will it take for you? When I am slaying my prey, I will be doing it to my favorite songs, thank ya.

Evelyn Williams: You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you don't just quit.
Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in!
-American Psycho

Goodnight.

 

See you next time at Cocktail Hour, where more often than not one drink turns into ten and no one knows where and when the night will end.
-AP

“You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!” - Alan Garner, The Hangover

So it is February 2008 and we have just arrived in San Jose, Costa Rica. There are 15 of us, some of Dash’s friends from college and others from high school. The group ranges in ethnicity and social strata: Persian guys from Great Neck, Wasps from Greenwich, and younger brothers in college. Some guys have wives and girlfriends, others are single, but everyone is looking to get as inebriated as humanly possible without flat-lining. Will there be more occasions when we can all be together? After a certain age, it is nearly impossible to get a group of friends together with similar means, circumstances, desires, and history. There is nothing and no one there to bother us or stand in our way. We get to the pool at the Intercontinental Hotel in San Jose and the jokes start flying. One guy’s slutty Mom, another guy’s crooked teeth, a Persian’s greasy hair, a Jew’s outrageously small member, or an Indian with an unusually hairy back. One guy’s name is actually Blumpkin, could you imagine that? As the Central American sun beats down on our unsuspecting skin, nothing is off limits and the possibilities are endless. The air, depending on your point of view, has an underlying aroma of sin and corruption. Life is cheap here and we shouldn’t forget that. We start with some beers, shots, and Xanax to take off the edge. In about an hour we are off to the casino in San Jose, but is it really just a casino?

All we want to do is party and bullshit, and party and bullshit…    

The Classic – Las Vegas
Vegas is the classic bachelor party destination and will always be. There is something for everyone and plenty of sin. The thing is, Vegas has become a regular trip for many people, so what really makes it special for a bachelor party? If you are going to have your party in Vegas, go off the beaten path, dig a little deeper for some classic Vegas experiences or live big by taking full advantage of the city’s newest toys.

Where to stay: Constant Evolution. 10 years ago Hard Rock Hotel, five years ago The Hotel at Mandalay Bay, now Encore or Wynn.
How to get there: Virgin America, the best airline to the West Coast. Runner up: JetBlue.
Day: Tao Beach & Wet Republic. This summer: Switch Beach Club at Encore or Liquid Pool Club at Aria.
Day alternative: Las Vegas Gun Club is one of the only gun clubs that allows unlicensed civilians to handle and shoot machine guns. What could be better than staying up all night, drinking and deliriously holding a semi-automatic rifle? Now what you got to say about my momma bitch? 
Nighttime: Easiest place to plan a bachelor party. More restaurants than you can imagine, as well as a nightclub for every type of person. It is easy to find “in-room” entertainment and the taxi and limo drivers will be glad to assist with this search. When you get to Vegas, the iPhone automatically downloads a girl’s number who can provide your bachelor party with private dances. I have a Blackberry, so this may just be a rumor. Spearmint Rhino and Crazy Horse 2 are the best strip clubs in Vegas. The best nightclubs, in my opinion, are Tao at the Venetian and XS at the Encore. Two great bachelor party dinners at the moment are Botero at Encore and SW Steakhouse at Wynn. For something off the strip check out Double Down, El Sombrero, or Beauty Bar.
Insider tip: When arriving at Las Vegas airport there is a sign that points to “limos” and another that points to “taxis.” They are pretty much the same price so there is no reason to turn down a town car or limo. A lot of bachelor parties get to Vegas on Thursday night. Tao and Tryst are by far the two best Thursday night parties. I hear that around 3,500 people come through the doors of Tao on an average Thursday night.
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: 95% unless you're a professional golfer.

The Local – Atlantic City
Atlantic City is the East Coast’s answer to Las Vegas. I happen to do a lot of business there, so I have gained an affinity for the place. It is not the easiest place to love, but when done correctly, AC has the potential to be a blast. I would highly recommend it for summer and spring parties – when it comes to the winter, Saturday nights are it, unless you are just coming to gamble. With that said, Mohegan Sun, Foxwoods, and other local casinos can’t even begin to hold a candle to AC for localized bachelor party sin.

Where to stay: The Borgata is the spot if you're looking for just a casino. For a more youthful party experience, check out The Chelsea Hotel, a brand new boutique hotel. The Chelsea is especially hot during the summer months because of their outdoor pool and nightclub.
How to get there: Last year, NJ Transit launched the “Aces Train” which goes directly from Penn Station to the heart of AC. If you don’t want to take the train, then drive; but don’t leave at rush hour unless you bring a gun with all the chambers filled. If you’re a real pimp, take a helicopter.
Daytime: Check out the Spa at the Borgata or the Chelsea; both have extensive jacuzzis and treatments. In the summer, the Chelsea has daytime pool parties at The Cabana Club, which is your best option for fun before 8 p.m. For lunch, check out Stephen Starr’s, Continental at the Pier or the classic AC sub shop, White House. 
Nighttime: For gamblers and a classic nightclub experience, check out the Borgata. In the summer months, the Chelsea Hotel is by far the best spot in town. For restaurants, Bobby Flay Steak at the Borgata or Chelsea Prime at the Chelsea are your best bets. Steaks at Chelsea Prime consistently rank as good, or better, than the most famous steakhouses in the country. Izakaya, Borgata’s Japanese tavern, is also a great option. For the ultimate AC experience, check out Chef Vola’s, the Rao’s of Atlantic City. Located in the basement of a house, Chef Vola’s does not take reservations, except through their network of regulars. It is BYOB and the food is delicious. I am partial to the spaghetti with sausage Bolognese, the chicken parm, and the dessert butterscotch cheesecake, which are all out of this world.
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: Unless you are into toothless women of the night, all should be good. 
 
Reliving Spring Break – Acapulco, Mexico
If Spring Break had a sophisticated and Jappy cousin, it would be Acapulco. She would be uptight for the first night and then proceed to sleep with the Devil, a Mexican in silver paint and a headdress, while her friends watched. Poco, as it is lovingly referred to, is the Bachelor party for those who want to experience a little of their college years before they take the plunge. Btw, it is not socially acceptable to go on Spring Break after 26 years of age unless you are a graduate student.

Where to stay: Rent a villa at Las Brisas. Most come with cooks, maids, and man-servants. (Love a good man-servant).
How to get there:  American, Delta and Continental all fly to Acapulco. You used to have to connect, but not anymore.
Daytime: 85+ degree weather, stunning views, and Acapulco Bay will keep you busy while your man-servant serves fresh margaritas and guacamole to you and your friends.
Nighttime: Underrated restaurants, like Becco and Suntory, line the cliffs of the Acapulco Bay for amazing scenic dining experiences with great fresh local cuisine. Mandara and Palladium nightclubs are two of the best nightclubs in the world, definitely in my top 20 and they rock till 5 a.m. The Devil performs nightly at Palladium; it is an incredible show and entry to the club includes open bar. Tables begin at $1,000 dollars and college girls are available for a quick smile with a side of I don’t give a fuck.  
Insider Tip: A lot of American pleasure-hounds think that March is the only month to go to Acapulco. That is Spring Break season and they know that the clubs will be crowded with Americans as opposed to just locals. While the surrounding months have more locals than Spring Break, February is also very busy because of Canadian Spring Break. For the record, despite the country’s inferiority, Canadian college girls look exactly like American college girls and the word “AY” is much more tolerable after shots of Tequila.  
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: Should be ok, unless your name is Mario Lopez who got caught red-handed in POCO.
 
Strippers, Steaks, and Open Late, Hollaaaa... – Tampa Bay, FL
Tampa is the Strip Club capital of North America… ‘nuff said.

Where to stay: Seminole Hard Rock Hotel
How to get there:  Flights are dirt cheap, about $200 round trip from New York if booked far enough in advance.
Daytime: There is an outdoor pool, gambling, and a spa. There are also Tampa Bay Bucs football games during the season.
Nighttime: Have dinner at the Council Oak Steakhouse. Mons Venus is known as one of the best strip clubs in the nation. If you want to check out another, Dollhouse would be my recommendation. After gambling, dinner, and maybe hitting the strip clubs, the real action begins at Floyd's nightclub in the Hard rock. Everyone looking to party descends on this club around 2:30-3 a.m., similar to Drai’s in Vegas. It stays open to the wee hours of the morning, maybe 5 or 6 a.m. Strippers, steaks, and afterhours make the Hard Rock an ultimate bachelor party hotspot in an unexpected destination.
Insider Tip: The weather gets chilly in the winter months, sometimes limiting the daytime activities. With that said, most strip clubs are available and dark during the day also!
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: I could be wrong, but I don’t think that many people move from New York or other major hubs to Tampa. With that said, the Hard Rock in Vegas has a live feed from the pool to the internet and I wouldn’t be surprised if Tampa followed suit. Watch out now…
 
A little too close for comfort, but let’s roll the dice – South Beach, FL
I have written plenty about South Beach. It’s a great place to be single, which means I am sure it is a great place for a bachelor party. All of the standard bachelor party amenities exist – great strip clubs, great restaurants, great nightclubs, and sun. There is even gambling a short drive from the beach. 

Where to stay: For an all-guys weekend I would recommend staying at the Gansevoort South. There are huge rooms and plenty of “UNTZ UNTZ” at the roof pool. If you want to really ball, rent a yacht for the weekend. This is highly recommended if you want to make it more than just another weekend in Miami.
How to get there: JetBlue to Ft. Lauderdale shouldn’t be more than $300 a man.
Daytime: If you can’t get a yacht, rent one for one of the days. Otherwise sit by the pool or on the beach recruiting for the night. I suggest the brunch party at La Piaggia on Sundays.
Nighttime: Prime 112 or Prime Italian night one, then STK night two. LIV at the Fountainbleu night one, then Wall at the W, night two. At 3 a.m. head to a strip club downtown. Tootsies and Scarlets are the best, followed by Deans and Gold Rush. Don’t complicate perfection.
Insider tip: Don’t expect to get taken care of as a big group of dudes. Find a friend who knows some girls down there to accompany the crew, or even invest in a concierge service. Additionally, make sure your wives, girlfriends, their friends, or your other relatives are not doing a spa weekend at the Betsy or something. Not cool to get blown up on a Bachelor Party. 
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: As long as you don’t end up on a girl from Lynn or FIU’s facebook account, you should be good. For a quick getaway from your impending nuptuals, head for The Keys and jump on a boat to Cuba. Castro won’t extradite you to your former fiancé and her family. You could be the next Elian Gonzalez.   
 
But honey I have always wanted to try surfing – San Jose & Jaco, Costa Rica
Costa Rica is a paradise of rain forests and beaches, with a side of sin. As with most Latin American and Central American countries, life is cheap and there are plenty of ways to get into trouble, European style. So whether its late nights at a strip club, sunsets in a surf town, or zip lining through the rain forests, Costa Rica is a great spot for a man-cation.

Where to stay: Rent a Villa at Los Suenos Marriot in Jaco Beach. In San Jose, crash at The Whitehouse or the Intercontinental Hotel.
How to get there: Lacsa is the national airline of Costa Rica and operates out of San Jose.
Daytime: San Jose doesn’t have much going on during the day. Jaco has beautiful beaches for lying out or surfing. Zip lining through the Rain Forest is a great option for a daytime activity, but plan it for the first day so you are not that drunk. Your man-servant will arrange for a chef to cook breakfast and dinner at your villa.
Nighttime: There are casinos with strip clubs inside in San Jose. There are great beach bars and simple Taco and fish shacks in Jaco. For the big group dinners I would definitely recommend staying at the hotels or having the chef cook in your villa. There is trouble everywhere, so keep your group tight and leave the beer muscles in New York.
Insider Tip: This is no place for weak and weary. 
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: High, as long as you don't get too high.
 
Exotic Nordics who like to drink – Reykjavik, Iceland
Iceland is a certain type of bachelor’s paradise. It is an isolated island with limited resources, except smoking hot Nordic ass. From what I am told, Norwegian woman love American men and there are tons of beautiful girls around every corner. That combined with a culture that has one of the highest rates of alcoholism and a raging nightlife make for a perfect Stag weekend.

Where to stay: In Reykjavík, the Hotel Borg pleasantly revives its 1930s ambience and is the most centrally located hotel in the old town. The luxurious Landmark Hotel has six suites in a central, converted Jugendstil townhouse. It has lots of character, but the service could use some polishing. Newer is the four-star Nordica Hotel, owned by Iceland Air.
How to get there: Iceland Air has good fares due to the economic crisis right now.
Daytime: There are tons of nature activities in Iceland such as ice climbing and deep sea fishing.  Both seem fun, but not for a bachelor party. The most appealing for a bachelor party are Heita Potturinn, hot springs/geothermal swimming pools where you can sweat out the alcohol while being waiting on hand and foot. The hottest pools have controlled temperatures of up to 44°C (108°F) and are said to have certain medical benefits. It is compulsory to take a nude shower and wash thoroughly before entering. The largest is Laugardalslaug, which has a 150-foot pool, curved waterslide, five pools of differing temperatures and a steam bath. This will rejuvenate you before the night’s debauchery.
Nighttime: Pravda, Thorvaldsen Bar and Solon are the spots that offer VIP tables and private rooms.  These spots have bottle service but there are also a ton of bars in the 101 District that do not. For dinner, the spots to check out are Laekjarbrekka for an upscale meal and for something trendier, check out Café Paris or Café Solon.
Insider tip: Go tanning before you go, the people love dark skin. They will look at you like you are a celebrity.
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: Dependant on whether you like light-skinned or dark-skinned women.  Personally I could not live on this island; they have a terrible diet based on fish prepared in every possible way, including their national dish of putrefied shark.
 
The Sideways: a Food, Wine, and Golf Alternative – Napa Valley
Sometimes you feel like nut, sometimes you don’t. Vegas gets nuts, Napa don’t. Different strokes for different folks, as you get tired and older, and if you just want a relaxing weekend before you get married, Napa is the spot. Perfect scenery, great food, and great golf… need I say more?

Where to stay: Carneros Inn
How to get there: Most major airlines fly to San Francisco or Oakland. JetBlue flies to Oakland. You will need transportation from the airport.
Daytime: Wine tasting, sitting by the pool, playing golf, going to the spa. We recommend boutique vineyards where you can have lunch and meet the winemakers. Some of our favorites include Kelham, Shwieger, and Hall-Rutherford.
Nighttime: There is not much nightlife in Napa; this trip will be much more about the meals. I wouldn’t go to the super fancy spots for your bachelor party, but setting up some great steak dinners would be a good move. I would recommend Press and Cole’s Chophouse for steak, Thomas Keller’s ADHOC for fried chicken, and Michael Chiarello’s Bottega for Italian.
Insider Tip: Get a driver to take you to the vineyards during the day so you don’t kill yourself before your wedding. Make the driver stop into Taylor’s Refresher for a snack between Vineyards.
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: 100%, unless she calls it off because you come back too fat.

The Local – New York
Sometimes people just cannot getaway, but luckily we live in the city that never sleeps.  The best part of New York is that you can have anything you want whenever you want it.  Why should your bachelor party be any different?  Free your mind and the rest will follow.  I think they call this a “staycation.”

Where to stay: Home, The Standard or The Gansevoort.
How to get there: Limos are the way to go. Party buses are super gauche. Book at NewYorkLimos.com.
Daytime: Manhattan has a little bit of everything for everyone. I am personally partial to a day at a Russian bathhouse for steams, sauna, and some vodka. If you’re looking for more activity, I think the Revel or Bagatelle brunch would be the way to go.
Nighttime: Robert’s Steakhouse at the Penthouse Club, no question. I would stay away from nightclubs; bar hopping on the LES or maybe even a bar crawl seems like it will end up better. Most importantly, be creative and do something you wouldn’t normally do.
Insider Tip: Get a suite at the hotel and get the strippers there. It’s a better option than going to the club and your whole crew can relax.
Likelihood of the marriage happening after the trip: You will be a-ok, just don’t be an idiot. I know this is hard for some of us, but just try.

As we piled into the van to leave our villa in Jaco Beach and head to the airport, the group had a look of shell shock. What had occurred on this trip was unholy and things would never be the same. If they built the most luxurious resort in the world in Costa Rica, I am not sure we would be able to return due to trauma. There were highs and lows, humor and fear, sadness and elation. As our manservant, Humberto, drives, he looks at me and smiles just enough so that I can see his man-braces. I think he is happy to see me quivering in pain as he maneuvers his aged Suzuki over the rugged terrain. The radio screeches and we stop. One of the boys in the van behind is puking out the window as some Costa Rican farmers point and laugh. We have just enough energy left to get on the plane and hopefully fall asleep.  Mac turns to Cam on the plane and says, “Listen, if one of us doesn’t make it, let’s not cause a scene.  I could really use the couple of hours of sleep.” Cam replies, “Have you lost your mind? If I die on this plane you’re just going to sit there and wait so you don’t disrupt your rest? Just kidding, I like where your head’s at… DEAL.” They slap each other five and fade away, not opening them again until they are back in the good ol’ US of A.

As we return to the everyday grind, the only thing keeping us going are the memories and the knowledge that we left every bit of hope we had on that beach in Costa Rica. Dash’s marriage will begin the next phase of our lives, the bachelor parties will get tame, and things will never be the same. But for one last weekend we had it all, we were kings of the castle, masters of our domain. 

“Tigers love pepper… They hate Cinnamon.”   
-Alan Garner, The Hangover

For assistance in planning your bachelor party to the above destinations and many others email Deluxe Experiences at bu@skynewyork.com.

Special thanks to Joshua Shames for his contribution to this piece.

See you next time at Cocktail Hour, where more often than not one drink turns into ten and no one knows where and when the night will end.
-AP