Greetings loyal readers (and Misty-bashing haters)! I've spent the majority of the past week locked away from society gearing up for the shitstorm known as NYC Fashion Week (Sept. 5-12). For those not in the know, this preparation consists of emails upon emails upon phone calls upon invites that slowly trickle in via email and snail mail... as well as a liquid diet, designer shopping spree and numerous spa treatments. Just kidding! (Or am I?) 

Speaking of fashion week, media boy wonder Henry the Intern recently called and asked if I'd seen the latest New York Magazine Fashion issue featuring Paul Dano. Hank and I both interviewed Little Miss Sunshine's teen smartthrob for his role in last year's unfortunate stinker Fast Food Nation. Paul is an unlikely fashionisto, although his Ballad of Jack and Rose co-star Camilla Bell is one of those ubiquitous starlets who tries to get her picture taken at every, single, freakin', show. As does her blonde counterpart, All My Children's teen queen Leven Rambin. Listen up ladies: A low profile is always the way to go. Pick a few *key* shows and parties, look hot, then go home. Seriously, that's lesson numero uno in my "Fashion Week for Dummies" book.

Anyway, I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself here -- it's still August for chrissakes! After bullshitting my way into Butter (literally had to go through the bouncer, the doorman, Richie Akiva *and* Scott Sartiano during my hero's journey into Hades, I mean, the basement club), I watched Jamie-Lynn Sigler eat dinner (yawn), Step Up's teen cutie couple Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan get frisky on the dance floor (awww), and P.Diddy do nothing exciting at all (inconceivable)!

Also, model/floozy Mae Anderson was there. Blah. Turns out all the excitement was happening at The Box last week. Scrat had invited me, but luckily I declined, or I might have been the one person arrested during the raid. Nah -- I would've stealthily stashed my goods inside Cameron Diaz's purse before she slinked away from the cops. Breakin' the law, breakin' the law!

Now, let's talk Hamptons sightings for a minute, shall we? My spies spotted a couple of unlikely sunbathing beauties this past weekend. Clearly I am referring to comedian hotties Jack Black and Michael Showalter. Wait, what? You don't know who Showalter is?! He's one of the funny guys from that old MTV gem The State, as well as the Stella comedy troupe, Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter...still no? OK, check out his interview with cutie Paul Rudd on "The Michael Showalter Showalter":

Still nothing? Damn, you people really need to get out more...to the movies! Please enjoy the trailer for my new favorite stoner flick Harold and Kumar 2 (second only to Cheech and Chong's Still Smoking), currently playing immediately prior to Superbad at a theater near you. Oh, and Kal Penn's gay, but John Cho isn't -- he's just a metrosexual:

Aside from nursing a crush on Bartender Rob at Employees Only, a phone call from Billy Clubs and the sweetly unexpected gift of a pregnancy test from D.Money (negative, thank God!), I've basically just been taking care of biz'nass and watching "Unicorn Planet." It's a cartoon about a planet wished into existence by a little gay boy named Shannon and features three gay unicorns named Feathers, Cadillac and Tom Cruise. Loving it!

As for the third Gay Unicorn's namesake, doesn't his wife/captor Katie Homes look a lot like a tall European dude in this photo? Hmm. By the way, I interviewed Mrs. Tomkat twice prior to the era of couch-jumping, and she was always like this -- slightly brain dead. In fact, she reminded me a lot of Britney Spears. How bizarre! Or not.

Later y'all,

Mistykat