Gay relationships in Hollywood exist on a different plane of public awareness than their straight counterparts. They ignite and fade just as quickly, but far more privately—usually by the time we first hear about a pairing, it's already for keeps—how boring! However, since the leading gay couples were probably overlooked by the Hollywood Homecoming Committee, here are a few awards for those who bring something extra to the table.
Most Experimental Hollywood Gay Couple::
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson
Think again, moms, dads, and guidance counselors. This isn't just a summer thing, and it's not petulant Katie Perry-style attention-whoring, either. Though Lohan's danced around explicitly admitting the nature of her relationship with Ronson, it's not like we need a polygraph test to know what's going on. Just ask the paparazzi, who keep circling the Lohan estate, hellbent on catching sight of a U-Haul.
Most Experienced Hollywood Gay Couple:
George Takei and Brad Altman
Captain Sulu didn't just come out of the closet, he burned it down. Though he didn't officially introduced the world to his sexual orientation and his partner (now husband) of over 18 years until 2005, he'd already spent years volunteering for LGBT causes. Takei has also proved he can laugh at himself, trading barbs about his sexuality on Howard Stern's show and Comedy Central's William Shatner Roast. Takei's so fabulous, we can only imagine how great his better half must be.
Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner
Though their creative and collaborative relationship (with benefits) has spanned over 35 years, Tomlin and Wagner hid in plain sight the whole time, never really bothering to keep their life together a secret. Since they didn't make a big deal out of it, neither did anyone in Hollywood-- which is why many of Lily's lifelong fans are only just now learning of her sexuality.
Best Hollywood Gay Couple to Double Date With:
Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi
Ellen's kept us entertained for over a decade, and Portia is television royalty thanks to Arrested Development. Either of them can make you pee your pants laughing. What couple on earth could be more fun to grill veggie-burgers, play Scattergories, or go to the movies with? And now's the perfect time to befriend this super-couple—since they just married this August, you'd be off the hook for buying them a wedding present.
Hollywood Gay Couple Who’s Most Likely To End In Tears
Jodie Foster and Cydney Bernard
We respect Jodie's right to privacy—but now that out-and-proud couplings are as common as fake tans on a red carpet, the lack of public acknowledgment of her and Cydney's 18 year relationship is beginning to feel a little awkward. Doesn't she trust us? We gave her the People's Choice Award in 1995—we, the people! We can't help but wonder what they're hiding, and whether the issue is merely Jodie's, and whether Cydney is okay with that. No one wishes them ill, but at least if they broke up, we'd probably get an Oprah-interview's worth of closure out of the whole thing.
Cutest Hollywood Gay Couple Without Being Too Cute
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka
Doogie Howser? Too cute. Young Love? Too cute (See "Most Experimental," above). But NPH has grown up and come out, and he's finally at that age where he can claim true love without provoking eye-rolls and gagging noises. All the pictures online of these two handsome actors going about their everyday business (which is far more exciting and meaningful than our everyday business, yet we're somehow not even bitter about that) dare us to be cynical about the longevity of Hollywood romances, but it's no use. They're in love with each other, and we're in love with them.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Jolie’s an admitted bisexual, and a lot of Pitt’s films are tormentingly homoerotic (Fight Club? Jesse James? Interview With The frigging Vampire??). How long could it possibly be before this power-couple splits off into two same-sex couples? Aside from being too face-meltingly hot to even think about, doubling up is also probably going to be their only viable approach to childcare at some point.
Clay Aiken and Clay Aiken
Everyone knows that when you first come out, it's all about ME ME ME ME ME!! It will probably be a few years until this Idol wannabe will want to catch his baby girl a step-daddy. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for smug, spikey-haired profiles on Manhunt in search of endless congratulations and Simon Cowell roleplay.