Nightclubs: heaven to some, hell to others.
Dating: hell to most.
But does the latter have a place in the volatile, booze-fueled danceclub environment? If so, what are the essential ingredients of a successful night out? If you’re reading this article, then it’s a fair assumption that you’re considering the possibility of going to a nightclub, and quite possibly, taking a date along, too. All things considered, having a date in a club can be risky business, but also has potential to yield great rewards. Here’s a list of the pros and cons to help you make the most out of your future nightclub rendezvous.
THE POSITIVE
Good Times
A fun person is an attractive person. Taking a date to a good nightclub shows them that A) you’re an exciting person that likes to have fun, and B) you know how and where to do so. These qualities are universally appealing and are sure to give you an edge on your first date.
Dancing Queen
For those who love to throw shapes, you won’t find a much better dance party than at a well-run nightclub, and taking a dance-loving date out to get down can quickly move things in the right direction. But be sure that you’re up to the task—if your date is a dance machine and you’re still fiddling with the Superman, then this pro can easily become a con.
Kill the Silence
A club is a perfect atmosphere for the shy to get comfortable with their date before engaging them in (gasp!) full-blown conversation. With 18-inch subs blasting in your face, conversation tends to stay simple and safe, and somewhere in the range of “Let’s get another drink” or “I like this DJ.” At a classy high-end club, you can play off your silence as posh aloofness to impress your companion.
Get in the Mood
With thousands of nightly clubgoers regularly seeking what Pat Robertson denounces as frivolous carnal pleasures, nightclubs make a concerted effort to create an atmosphere conducive to precisely that. If your intentions are less than savory, and you have a clear picture of what you’d like to do shortly after your outing, then a nightclub can set the stage for comfortable seduction.
Promote Yourself
All it takes is knowing one club promoter to take advantage of the club world’s inane PR tactics, allowing you to walk your date, with an air of regal importance, past the line and straight into the club for free. Nothing makes you seem so more important than you really are, and can easily impress the throngs of people enamored with the club’s pretense of exclusivity.
Open Bars
The open bar is one of the most overlooked treasures in nightlife. Nothing gets a date started right like a bunch of free drinks. Just make sure you and your date are punctual enough to get out at the early hour of 10pm. [On the other hand, if your date is one of the many women who take hours and hours to get ready, then don’t pressure her, it’s not worth it.]
THE NEGATIVE
High Maintenance
With drinks priced like gas in the year 2036, a night at a club with a high maintenance date could easily sap a week’s pay or more. Unless you are a high roller, a club is not the place to bring a posh date whose taste demands top shelf liquor and a table.
Keep the Wolves at Bay
The contemporary nightclub scene can be a vicious arena of lonely sleazeballs who will do anything in their power to snatch your date away. Whether it means challenging you face to face, or waiting ‘til you are off getting drinks, these wolves pose a daunting threat to the lighthearted or inattentive.
Waiting...
Unless you believe that you (and your date) have the patience of a Zen monk, then waiting in line at a nightclub is probably not the best way to start the night. Whether it is the obnoxious people at the door or the realization that you’re probably waiting not to keep the club from becoming overcrowded, but as an advertisement about the place’s exclusivity, nothing can make a person angrier. Beware, especially if you know your date to be ‘type A’ in any manner whatsoever.
Access Denied
Dimitri Martin put it best when he wrote: “Job Requirements for Being a Bouncer: 1.) Be an asshole 2.) Stand near a door.” If you have ever been to a major club of any kind then you know what he is talking about. Never underestimate the fact that in a nightclub, the bouncers are essentially omnipotent. Even the most placid of clubgoers are at risk of becoming victims of a sociopathic bouncer’s next power trip and being denied access to a venue.
Pretty Distractions
The nightclub is a favorite dwelling place of the physically blessed. Male or female, it can be quite the challenge to keep ones eyes from wandering when you are amidst so many beautiful people. If you have trouble staying focused, have ADD, or are just really horny, then taking a date to a club could easily end with a slap to the face.
Noise Level
Anyone that sincerely wants to get to know someone on their first date should obviously not begin at a nightclub. If you really want to hold a conversation, then at least take them to dinner first. 12,000 decibels is simply not going to inspire any kind of deep conversation.
Agree? Disagree? Sound off in the comments below...