The Hunt. Once as simple as clubbing the girl of your dreams and dragging her back to the cave, the hunt has evolved into a game of subtle preening and spectacular peacocking. Men (and women) can get so caught up in the cars, cologne and tax brackets of day to day life that they forget that sometimes it is the simplest of acts that can attract a woman. And take it from a woman: reading is hot. If we see you with your nose in a novel while sitting on the subway or lounging in a quiet bar, you have been unofficially branded as smart, contemplative, and interesting (at least until we approach you). Books are portable, inexpensive (even free if you frequent the library) and a reliable companion for when you want to hang out in public places places. Of course, we’re not talking about the abundance of self-help books, Microsoft for Dummies, or the latest James Patterson pulp—we want a book that speaks to us. Naturally, some books work better than others, so here are a few suggestions to attract the brilliant woman of your dreams:
Hipster Chicks
Chuck Palahniuk’s books may seem like an odd choice, but with several movies made or in the works (Fight Club, Choke, Invisible Monsters), his books remain incredibly popular and will prove that you appreciate the subversive content that Palahniuk sends into this world. Reading Invisible Monsters would be a better choice than Fight Club due to its central female characters (both biological and drag) but either book would lend itself to film vs. book conversations. Palahniuk also has a collection of true stories, Stranger than Fiction, that ranges from the bizarre to the heartbreaking, but would provide hours of conversation topics to any Palahniuk devotee. Just make sure you can pronounce his name correctly (PAUL-a-nick) before launching into a flirty discussion on the merits of Lullaby.
Sensitive Girlies
To read Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar is to take a peek into the psyche of most 20-year-old women who feel pressured to figure out their lives. Plath effectively portrays the rigors of growing up as a woman in uncertain times, a plight that speaks to nearly any bright young woman out there. Caution: don’t read The Bell Jar solely for its meat market value—read it because, at a scant 200 pages, it is an amazing work of literature that will not only make you a smarter person, but a more understanding one at that. And to sensitive girls, that is the hottest thing you can really be.
Funny Girls
One of the funniest books written in the past 20 years, Me Talk Pretty One Day graces the bookshelves of nearly every American library, so rest assured that the goofy girl you see in the elevator at work has read it a million times. Sedaris gleefully dissects his dysfunctional family while also poking fun at his own shortcomings, making for an excruciatingly funny good time. This book is easy to read, as most of the chapters are short and sweet, but it’s also completely recommendable to anyone within earshot.
Las Chicas
To read Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Nobel Prize winning book, One Hundred Years of Solitude, will not only get you the respect of the beautiful Latina population, but you will have read one of the best novels written in the 20th century. Marquez takes on the theme of solitude, with his characters surrounded by family and friends, and the philosophical questions that this raises. This is not a light, weekend read, but would be well worth your time. If solitude is not your flavor, try Love in the Time of Cholera, in which Marquez tackles the beauty and heartache of unrequited romance. For a more contemporary angle, try Junot Diaz’s highly-acclaimed Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, which orbits around the titular main character’s doomed romances while living in Harlem and dreaming of true love.
The Watertight, Can’t-Fail Book
Timeless, versatile, and required reading for anyone who’s gone through the American school system, Shakespeare’s plays are familiar grounds for nearly any woman you’ll meet stateside. Whether a romance, comedy or tragedy, his themes of love, honor and bloodshed never get old. Naturally, don’t be corny and quote lines to girls you are just meeting, as that could come across as completely affected to even the nerdiest babe. A better approach: ask a girl about her favorite play, or if she had to memorize any speeches in high school. Wait for the third or fourth date before you start comparing her to a summer’s day.
Some words to the wise
Do not get caught with your literary pants down by cracking a book to the middle and pretending to know what you’re reading. This is a classic rookie mistake that can easily be detected the minute she asks you about the book, how far you are, and who your favorite character is. It is not a crime to start reading a book from the beginning. If none of these books really appeal to you, find something that does. Reading looks good on everyone, and if you are enjoying what you’re reading, women will generally appreciate the intellectual endeavor. To be fair, not all women are attracted to smart men, but is that really a woman worth knowing?
