So you’re frying on your rooftop, sipping a bodega-bought Corona, envying all those bourgeois bastards who don’t have to worry about a 9-to-5 job. June is the cruelest month for us red-blooded taxpayers. But before you sell your kidney for a ticket to Bora Bora, familiarize your sweaty self with a list of all- New York City-based events that will take you to the countries you know only from the BBC News.
As a Clubplanet mole I crashed on the hottest expat parties with no passport or substantial cross-cultural knowledge-- all to feel out where to learn French, dance samba, or pick up an Italian stallion.
ITALY
Made in Italy
Migrating party
Rejoice fans of black-haired, dark-eyed, serenade-singing and Piaggio-riding Italianos-- you can indulge in the allegro ambience of the boot without leaving the metro area. The migrating Olympus of vino debauchery, Made in Italy NYC, hits the most chic clubs and lounges (like Show, Neogaea, Salon, Capitale, Cain, Marquee, Nikki Beach, Guest House, Glo, Temple, Sol, Pacha) two or three times a month, providing an abundance of liquor, house music and mythical ambience of Neapolitan nights.
The ethnic Mediterranean restaurant in Midtown East, Byblos (200 E 39th St), suffered a high-class assault on May 24th—the night 2,800 glam and cosmopolitan Italians and internationals showed up for one of the most chic culture-specific parties. The blonde and blasé will stick out in this dark-haired, Mediterranean-dominated crowd of sleek and sexy twenty-somethings who jump into their best Fendi party dresses and Armani shirts (with obligatory jackets). (Quick advice for Eastern Europeans, Scandinavians, Alaskans and the like: slather on some bronzer before approaching your Monica Bellucci-style competition.) The prodigious ambition of bringing together the vast Italian populations scattered around the four boroughs seems to work, as the party’s mailing list recently mushroomed to 12, 000 names.
In case you don’t find the machismo-inundated bar and hairy bosoms to your liking, the featured entertainment offers live sax and guitar music, drummers, dancers, and European singers. Past European DJs include Orazio Rispo, Dodo Martino, Alex Farolfi and Paolino Rossato.
Don’t fret if you missed the blast at Byblos, for the MiI boys are already brewing a future soiree at the end of June.
FRANCE
French Tuesdays
Migrating party
Who needs Côte d’Azur if you can have all the classy outdoor bashes, hors d’oeuvres, champagne and oh-la-la factor in an urban environment of local lounges? Or beaches. Or tents on beaches.
My idea about a French assemblage—romantic bistro music and men in berets—burst like a bubble clashing directly with a house-playing (farewell Oh, Champs Elysées), up-to-date, up-to-NYC nightlife-standards slick soiree filled with chic pros and young intelligentsia.
The party’s raison d’être is to “enlighten” the populace about French culture, sans the cheese-tastings. You can sample several top-brand champagnes and catch up on vocab words while mingling with a chunk of almost 6, 000 members of this exclusive party. The waiting list for joining the club is a bit long (they just have to show that snobby side), though an invitation from a member will shorten your wait. The process keeps the jet-set, Americanized descendants of the Hexagon returning with thick wallets and skinny shoulders.
During the pre-party cocktail (7-9pm), the French pamper you with live jazz and classical music. The bash per se kicks off at 9pm with live DJs, the accompanying musicians, dancers and giant balloons (yup).
BRAZIL
Saturdays @ S.O.B.’s
204 Varick Street at West Houston
It’s ok if your knowledge of Portuguese ends (like mine) with the 5-word lyrics of Bellini’s Samba de Janeiro. All that you can possibly want to convey comes down to one word with this Brazilian-mixed crowd at S.O.B’s—samba. And I don’t know if the Rio parades are all they’re cracked to be, but this sizzling party sure provides an equally sexy alternative every week and with no visas required. If you get tired of shaking those hips (and more) on the packed dance floor or refuse to learn any dance that requires remembering a set sequence of moves, the DJs also spin funk, reggae, house and hip hop later in the night. Add to that the modern twist on the good old rhythms, Axé and Forró, flexing bellies of dancers and shirtless caporeistas, and you’ll never want to leave the West Village again.
HAITI / the FRENCH CARIBBEAN
Fridays @ S.O.B.’s
204 Varick Street at West Houston
Since the American government does not recommend its citizens visiting Haiti right now for political reasons, you’ll have to settle for the dream-island ambience and genuine Haitian music and dancing at S.O.B.’s: where the natives and New Yorkers cotton just fine.
Once I saw the shekere-holding woman in a flowery dress cavorting on the stage to the rhythms played by ethnic expats, I knew Haitian Fridays were the real deal. Forget about the white beaches and azure lagoons—think torch-illuminated beach parties with live music.
“My weekend always starts here,” says Agwe, a self-proclaimed party addict sipping a La Baina, one of the signature cocktails. “They play best quality Haitian music and the ambience is unsurpassable.”
The party host, Papa Jube, has rubbed elbows with Billy Idol, Israel Vibrations, Mickey Dread, and Peter Gabriel, before raising the spirits of majorly Haitian and Caribbean crowds at SOB.
On June 22, the Haitian crew blasts off a "32th Anninversary Party" featuring: Magnum Band, so wrap up in Carribbean-print fabric and hit the dance floor before it gets packed.
SOUTH ASIA
Basement Bhangra
Third Thursday @ S.O.B.’s
204 Varick Street at West Houston
The acclaimed Basement Bhangra party kicks off every third Thursday of the month at S.O.B.’s, bringing a mishmash of ethnic South Asian sounds of traditional bhangra (the Punjabi club music) mixed with the Western influences of hip-hop and dancehall. The hosting turntable icon, DJ Rekha—a musician, producer, curator, and activist who introduced the pioneering bhangra music in North America—released her first album (DJ Rekha Presents Basement Bhangra) in October 2007, featuring goose-flesh evoking rhythms and, Punjabi ambience.
“When I hear people laughing at Indian music, I feel like kicking them in the face,” says Aditi, a partygoer and loyal fan of DJ Rekha. “They don’t know anything about it. [DJ Rekha] knows her stuff. Like nobody.”
I approve, even though kicking people in the face doesn’t mesh with the intercultural tolerance I’m trying to develop.
MEDITERRANEAN
Sundays @ Cavo
4218 31st Ave, Astoria
The Mediterranean is world-renowned for the olive-skinned, semi-naked Apollos lounging on rocky beaches. Humble little Astoria might not exactly be a mirror-image counterpart, but getting there takes way less time and money than a flight to Greece; which make Astoria perhaps the only reason to ever come to Queens.
As a proud Astoria citizen, I couldn’t skip the all-Mediterranean weekly party at Cavo. The crowd is majorly South-East European, but not exclusively. Fair warning—they weren’t joking about the genuine music, so if you’re allergic to Greek and Turkish techno (arguably the kitschiest in the world) you better numb yourself with some of those flavored frozen margaritas, and pray that the soft bodies of the belly dancers will soften the audio shock.
I approached the most Greek-looking guy in the crowd and my intuition doesn’t let me down.
“I come here because most of my friends like it,” he says with a charming Athenian accent. “You can also meet a lot of new people, mostly from Albania, Greece, Turkey, Croatia, Romania. And the music’s good.”
RUSSIA
RussianMix Tango Club & Milonga @ Lafayette Grill
54 Franklin St
Every Tuesday
If all that pops to your mind at a mention of the country of bear hugs and kazachok is Stolichnaya and Kournikova, you’ll be surprised upon entering the gallery-like space of Lafayette Grill on a Tuesday night, where young Muscovites gambol on the hardwood floor to the sounds of Russian and (surprise) Argentinean classics. For $10 (plus $5 for a dance class) you can mingle with the post-Kremlin populace and enjoy their other-than-techno music.
As the only Pole on earth who doesn’t like vodka I felt pretty panicked approaching the bar. I heard that in Russia using chasers means an offense to whoever pours you a drink—hence my paranoia about ordering a screwdriver, not to mention wine. I forgot that Lafayette Grill is owned and operated by the fellow Mediterraneans.
Russians dancing Nuevo Tango seemed to compromise the party’s authenticity. But once you blend into the welcoming and relaxed ambience of those musical soirees, you get a better cross-cultural and language tutorial than during a college exchange program.
POLAND
Polish Happy Hour
Migrating party
So the joke goes that Polish disco balls are using solar energy. There was a time when the Polish jabs used to make my blood boil. Now, when someone says that Christ wasn’t born in Poland because they couldn’t find three wise men, I add, “and a virgin”.
But this month’s Polish Happy Hour, housed in the orient-inspired Chelsea club Prime, attracted a packed crowd of not-so-absent-minded blond-haired boys and gals that bounced to the sounds of Polish music from 6pm to 11pm, followed by the Prime DJ. And even though the joke also has it that a typical Polish drink consists of Perrier and water, I had no trouble grabbing a home brand bottled beer, Zywiec. The bartenders manage well without the “open other end” signs on the bottoms of vodka bottles.
This culture-specific party, which started off several years ago in Washington DC, quickly climbed the greasy pole of NYC nightlife standards with an average of 200 participants nowadays and 10 more host cities in the U.S. and Canada. PHH takes place every second Friday of the month, each time in a different venue, bringing the Polish-speaking youth together into one ethnic soiree where they can share a common heritage, dance floor, and full bar. Foreigners are welcome, as long as they don’t dilute the condensation of Pole on the whole.
KOREA
Saturdays @ Circle
135 W 41st St
So, for whatever reason, Korea does not figure on an average American’s list of top ten countries to visit. Too bad, because the homeland of soju and pre-premiere DVDs is less pious than you might think. You can check it out every Saturday at Circle—at an old-school, painfully indigenous Korean nightclub right off Times Square.
The nightclub itself is no less slick (or slithery) than any other Times Square nightlife hotspot. The décor is well-done, with a large dance floor, many tables, balcony-seating and a Korean-, female-heavy crowd that frolics to k-pop and techno. But beware—you better take an accelerated course of Korean customs, least you want to commit a cultural faux pas that will land you in the back alley dumpster.
None of the above mentioned features is accidental, as my modest self, being a cultural semi-ignorant, learned only after the next day Googling. The core of the issue lies in this statement: when you ask for a Korean party—we give you a Korean party.
I couldn’t help but to notice the waiters diving into the dancing crowd every once in a while, pulling out one of the girls, and dragging her to one of the tables. As I found out, Circle practices a specifically South Korean custom of so-called “booking.” Unworldly creature that I am, I needed to consult the omniscient everything2.com in other to tackle that one. The results caused me a bigger cultural trauma than my first shot of Chinese whiskey.
Apparently, according to an old Korean custom, a girl cannot speak to the man first, because, according to everything2.com: “That's what booking clubs are for. Women and men come here to be introduced to each other through the use of a go-between. Instead of entrance fees in Western clubs, tables are "bought" for the night. The waiter's primary purpose isn't to get more food and drink. What you order from a waiter are women.”
Which explains why guys have such a hard time entering that club—and the few who get in are forced to buy a table. Pirating girls off the dance floor is actually an acknowledged custom in Korea, where young people make an official, chaste introduction. What comes further in the definition calls for a juggernaut:
“You introduce yourself, and try to impress her in the short time you have. While it's true that you chose her and that the waiter dragged her over to you, she's free to leave if she doesn't like the way you look, or how you spoke… Hopefully by then you've snagged her number, and you can always call her later if things went well. This is where the benefit of buying expensive tables come in. Having a private room and expensive liquor on the table is a not-so-subtle way of saying, I have money. Lots of money = good job = good university = good potential husband.”
So much for my $500 self-esteem course. My provincial faith in women’s (and men’s) dignity is impaired forever.
Overall, despite several high-heel bruises on my foot, I came out of a Circle Saturday just fine, though, judging on the 48-hour headache, the bartender went cheap on tequila and mixed my margaritas with gasoline. Should’ve went ethnic and gotten soju after all.
LATIN AMERICA
Nacotheque @ Fontana's
105 Eldridge Street
Every 2nd and 4th Saturday
If there’s something DJs Marcelo Cunning and Amylulita can’t induce on their brain-numbing, eclectic parties, it’s standardization. This time, your all-purpose little black dress won’t make the cut amidst the throngs of people sporting ultra-funky apparel. Chucks will get you inside, so enjoy it while you can, indulging in the hottest trash-exalting party a Spanish hipster can dream of.
As long as you don’t mind a crowd of flashy minors that come in to show off their new trucker hats, flock around the bar with fake IDs and listen to performers like Los Amigos Invisibles, Lo Bunkers, Café Tacuba, Fangoria, Plastilina Mosh, Zoé, Flans, Gloria Trevi; you should have a good time at Naco (en Espanol: trash) teque, held every 2nd and 4th Saturday at Fontana—an edgy space in itself.
The founders and resident DJs are Amylulita and Marcelo Cunning—two inspiring specimens who created a party that started with celebrating indie and alternative Spanish music and developed into one of the hottest get-togethers South of 14th Street. Together with guest djs, they spin a unique Spanish music selection ranging from rock’ n’ roll, thru new wave, indie rock, funk, nouveau-eighties, electropop, disco, to hip-hop. The nearest Nacotheque, with Pastilla (an indie/rock/alternative playing boys from California) kicks off June 21st. 100% mariachi-free.