Now that we’ve hooked you up with a respectable secret flask, it’s time to consider the city’s prettiest patches of greenery to enjoy a covert swig. We at Clubplanet poured over our New York maps in the basement of our headquarters, devotedly tugged from flasks in parks and alleyways all over the boroughs, and when we thought we couldn’t take another frantic, mad-cap dash away from cops bent on slapping us with public intoxication tickets—we thought of you, dear readers, and pressed onwards. So, without further ado, here are the prime city spots to drink on the sly.
1. McGorlick Park, Brooklyn
McCarren Park’s smaller, prettier sister isn’t as frequently trolled by cops and draws fewer crowds on a lush spring morning than the treeless hipster promenade down in Williamsburg. With swirling pathways encircling tulip-lined plots of grass, McGorlick practically unpacks yours picnic box itself just by being so darn idyllic. Smack in the middle of Greenpoint, Brooklyn’s predominantly Polish neighborhood, the locals won’t judge you for enjoying an early-afternoon mimosa—most of them are still drunk from last night.
2. Socrates Sculpture Park, Queens
Dotted with arresting sculptures like the fang-toothed stone triages and a menacing Bigfoot likeness, this park generates plenty of conversation fodder while you stroll down its hills surveying the unusual scenery. Sipping champagne at a tedious black-tie gallery opening can’t compare to drunkenly roaming the outdoors in shoes that don’t pinch your feet. The park also hosts a series of outdoor movies during the summer evenings that are conducive to nighttime libations.
3. Pier 46 Park, Manhattan
Built for “passive recreation” on the banks of the Hudson, this little waterside plot can get cramped on weekends with tanning NYU students and corrals of strollers—but if you find yourself with a free weekday during the sweltering months, bring a thermos full of sangria and enjoy the mildly-toxic breezes wafting over from Jersey.
4. Fort Green Park, Brooklyn
Stretching over Brooklyn’s boho neighborhood populated by Pratt University students and boutique bruncheries, the recently-gentrified brownstones that face this lovely local park have seen enough drugged-up art-school antics, and the gaggles of stoned freshman sprawled on the lawns take some of the heat off some harmless of-age drinking.
5. Flushing Meadows State Park, Queens
This is the Queens’ version of Central Park, with expansive slopes of greenery populated by an amusement park, the Queens Art Museum, and a slew of people lounging on quilts within spitting distance of the Yankee Stadium. With more acres than most Manhattan districts—you’d lose Nolita in the botanical garden alone—intoxicated antics are easily disguised as rollicking in the fresh air.
6. Residential Rooftops, City-wide
One rite of passage for all New Yorkers (along with witnessing public urination and getting told off by a homeless lunatic) is figuring out the nightlife potential of a residential rooftop. Dragging out a ladder, pushing through a skylight, climbing precariously through a top-floor window, edging over a deck rail—to finally stand atop your humble abode and take in a view of the city. Cheers to that.