While the Lindsays, Parises and Britneys of the world are way too busy dodging paps to think of something as trivial as underwear, the rest of us normal folk must deal with the extreme pressure of having to pick out the perfect pair of skivvies. But stress no more. Despite what those fine young role models would have you believe, wearing underwear is actually fun if you do it right. Yes, there are rules--not only about how to wear them but how to talk about them. Read on to learn more about Victoria’s real secret, the conspiracy surrounding size and the best way to handle that time of the month.
The Secret
Victoria’s Secret has women across the world believing that if they just put on that special set of underwear, they too can be as gorgeous as the long-legged models gracing the catwalks. But here’s Victoria’s real secret: you’ll never look as good as their models. Unless, of course, you are one. Just because you see something that looks awesome on Giselle, doesn’t mean it will look awesome on you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Instead, shop for what's flattering for your own body type. Similarly, don’t listen to commercials that advocate “comfort,” which is just a synonym for "unsexy." If you look hard enough, you’ll be able to find something both comfortable and hot. Jockey won't cut it.
Size Matters
Whoever said size doesn’t count was probably fat. Size does matter. Too small? You risk making one of the worst offenses in life: having muffin top and/or camel toe. Too big? Ew. Nothing is worse than looking like you're hauling a full diaper. By now you should probably know what size you are, so make the right decision.
The Bigger the Better
Designers size their merchandise differently and so it’s perfectly normal for your undie size to vary. Remember, it’s just a number and it’s more important that you look good even if it means buying a pair that are larger than your pants size.
Hey Baby, Look at This
Speaking of dating, you know how you love to tell your boyfriend which pair you’re going to buy next? Well, stop. He doesn’t care. And not only because you don’t look as good as the models, but because he really doesn't give a hoot. Instead, discuss with your girlfriends, purchase and surprise him.
Like a Boy
Ladies, that time of the month should not be an excuse to wear ugly grandma panties. Particularly ones that rise to your stomach. Not only should you refrain from wearing them if you’re single, but especially avoid them if you’re sleeping with someone. Instead, try some boy shorts. They cover just as much, if not more, yet still display what your mama gave you. Pair with a tank and you’re ready to go.