For as long as there’s been alcohol, there have been hangovers—and, subsequently, a myriad of bizarre, repulsive, and often fruitless attempts to quell or prevent this wretched state of being. Whether it was the Romans who gorged themselves on fried canaries, the ancient Egyptians who guzzled cabbage water, or Haitians who have been known to stick thirteen pins into the cork of the bottle that did them in, everyone has his or her own method of making it through the nausea, shakes, and pounding headaches the morning after.
While there’s no foolproof way to nip a hangover in the bud, eating certain foods before, during, and after a night out can certainly help. Eating food in general increases your body’s metabolism and the speed at which you process alcohol, and picking the right kind at the appropriate time replenishes nutrients otherwise lost to drinking. So the next time you plan on rallying but don’t feel like reeling the following day, try noshing on these nighttime fuels—it sure beats throwing Tweety bird in the deep-fryer.
Before
Pre-game with a glass or two of a non-alcoholic beverage, preferably water—you want to make sure you are well hydrated since alcohol is a diuretic. Not only will alcohol strip you of water, it will also deplete essential nutrients from your body, so make sure to eat foods high in vitamins B and C, such as fruit and other fiber-filled foods like beans, rice, grains, cereals and peas. Whether all you eat is a banana or an orange, make sure you eat something—anything with calories—before you drink to avoid risking low blood sugar when you wake up the next morning. Having food in your stomach will slow the entrance of alcohol into your bloodstream; complex carbs and high protein foods are the most effective at this, and the heavier the better, so stick to cheeseburgers, fries, mozzarella sticks, macaroni and cheese, pasta, or steak and potatoes. These foods will make you feel full, making you less inclined to drink as much.
During
Alternate a glass of water every other round to pace yourself (your body can only metabolize one drink per hour) and keep hydrated. More important than eating at this stage is watching what you’re drinking: avoid caffeine, such as soda and energy drinks like Red Bull, which further causes dehydration and keeps you up at night—an unwelcome side effect already attributed to the alcohol. Instead, try to maintain your blood sugar by adding calories and sugar to your drinks by opting for fruit juice mixers. Though bar snacks like potato chips and pretzels might seem like a good idea, avoid salty foods which only make you thirstier and more likely to drink. Cheese and nuts are better foods to nosh on since fats and protein slow alcohol absorption.
After
Indulge in any cravings you have for greasy foods after last call: pizza or pasta is usually best since cheese and carbohydrates are a good source of amino acids, though fats and protein (yes, that doner kabob at 4 a.m. really is a good idea) will also further slow the absorption of any alcohol still kicking around in your system and ensure you won’t wake up starving the next morning. Drink a sports drink like Gatorade before hitting the sack to replace electrolytes, such as potassium and magnesium, depleted by drinking. Did we mention you should drink water? Chug a bottle of water before calling it a night.
The Next Morning
Just for good measure, if you still feel queasy after eating before, during, and after drinking last night (in which case, what the hell are you drinking, ethanol?), replenish your reserves with a mix of carbs, fat, and protein: a bagel and cream cheese or the go-to bacon, egg, and cheese on a biscuit, roll, or English muffin with a glass of orange, pineapple, or grapefruit juice should do the trick. Juices contain water, which helps rehydrate your body, and the citrus varieties are packed with natural sugars and vitamins to help your body break down any residual alcohol lingering around. Avoid guzzling coffee—if you must have any, limit yourself to one cup only since caffeine will further dehydrate and exacerbate alcohol withdrawal jitters. Now get your nearly hangover-free self over to the nearest gym to sweat everything out.
