Now that the holiday season is in full swing, it's time to grudgingly accept those office party invitations and spend your time fraternizing with those annoying people at work. Clubplanet would like to offer some frighteningly obvious tips for attending these soirees:
What to Wear
Go with your usual work attire, coupled with a bit more ritz or sass - trade in your slacks for a trendy pair of jeans, loosen up a couple of those buttons Pussycat Doll style, or expose a little bit more flesh or sparkle (finding the middle ground is key). Even if you're going somewhere else afterwards, donning anything straight-from-the-club sequined or shiny will lead to those pesky "I hear she's a stripper on the weekends" rumors - play it safe and layer with a sweater or blazer if you want to sex it up later.
It's [kinda] the thought that counts
Regardless of whether or not the invite encourages you to BYOWhatever, show up with a gracious gift in tow. Unless you know this colleague really, really, well, stick with something edible or drinkable that can be shared with the group. (A friend pointed out that while any type of housewarmy item sounds cutesy on paper, who really wants a modgepodged napkin holder or ceramic rooster? We didn't think so.) But remember that old college trick of bringing shitty liquor to a houseparty in order to save a couple bucks? Avoid it here - we all know how that works.
What to say
Keep conversation light, and don't take work home with you. While it may be acceptable to gossip about Reese and Ryan's divorce, avoid gabbing about co-workers who fail to show up, even if others are doing it. Karma's a bitch, remember?
When to Leave
If the party bores you to tears, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being the first person to leave - especially if you tack on a throwaway excuse about prior plans to meet other friends. But even if you're enjoying yourself, don't overstay your welcome - a good time to peace out would be around 11-12, leaving ample time to go somewhere else afterwards with your date.
And finally...
If you get completely wasted First of all, I know it'd be completely obvious to say it's probably a good idea to avoid this altogether. But in the event that you find yourself completely trashed, try to remember:
1. Avoid using those "inside joke" nicknames about your co-workers.
It's probably for the best that that semi-bald dude in accounting never knows that the office collectively calls him Spotty.
2. Play it off - if you get so wasted that everyone knows about it, laugh it off at the office the next Monday. Self-deprecation is a good thing