Halloween is the curious intersection of three things you don't typically find together: 1) gore; 2) scares; 3) sex.
Three things that "Blood Manor," the R-rated haunted house next to Home and Guest House, serves up in spades.
Blood Manor has been open for the last two weeks, but Halloween weekend, with 27th Street crammed with slutty stewardesses and slutty nurses, the slash-fest took hit a new mark for creepy debauchery. (By the way, speaking of slutty stewardesses, when's the last time these people actually flew on a real-life airplane? I fly a lot. And on every flight--literally every single one--you see more heavies than hotties, more Kathy Bates than Kate Beckinsale.)
Anyway. Give Blood Manor points for sheer inventiveness. Forget the usual tricks like "Boo!" There's no kiddy stuff. As you wend your way through a dark, velvet-lined corridor, you get the feeling that the murderers, torturers, demons, and sexy witches really
are after you.
It's evil genius: they never quite touch you…but they get teasingly close. At one point, I nearly let out a little-girl-yelp when I felt hot breath on my cheek, then a shrill whisper, "Watch your step, pretty boy!" Seconds later, a wooden club came swooshing down from nowhere, almost hitting my feet, and landing on the floor with a terrifying "thump." Sure, the club was held by a professional who would never actually let it hit me, but still… It works.
Bloody, maimed hot chicks (like Joker's girlfriend who got disfigured in the original
Batman) appear from nowhere, leering suggestively, waiving knives and brandishing whips. (I couldn't get their numbers.)
In the group in front of me, one girl was actually thrown out because she lost it, freaked out, and then struck one of the performers.
They must use at least 20, 30 actors. Like the butchered cheerleader with a sucking chest wound, staring into space, still slowly performing cheers as blood oozes from her body. Or the creepy little girl who just walks behind you, staring at you, not blinking and not speaking.
And if a torture room for "nipple twisting" isn't the true meaning of Halloween, then I don't know what is.
542 27th St. (Next to Guest House)
Check out their official site for more info and tickets.