According to Clubplanet's team of expert scientific researchers, 86% of New York City's population is not actually from the New York Metropolitan Area. No matter how many "you know you're a New Yorker when…" criteria you may fulfill, if you didn't grow up here there are going to be times when you just need a break. But the beauty of the city is that, no matter where you took your first steps, there's a home away from home for you, no trip to JFK required.
WisconsinKettle of Fish59 Christopher St (near Seventh Ave S), 212-414-2278Filled with Packers memorabilia, couches, wooden lounge chairs, dart players, and, of course, lots and lots of beer, Kettle of Fish is as close to Uncle Marty's Sheboygan basement as you can get. Just like in Dairyland, people here are unpretentious and friendly and serious about their brewskies. If only there were cows to tip in the West Village…
Eastern Europe
Mehanata113 Ludlow St (between Delancey and Rivington) The location of the Bulgarian bar has changed, but the energy hasn't. Not for wallflowers, this is the place to come if you want to dance and you don't mind swapping sweat with your fellow patrons. If the live gypsy band and hyper DJ aren't enough excitement, you can always participate in the "Get Naked, Get a Free Shot" challenge. Babushka would be so proud.
www.mehanata.comAustralia
Eight Mile Creek240 Mulberry (between Prince and Spring)Emu carpaccio, anyone? How 'bout some kanga skewers? In addition to Aussie entrees you literally can't find anywhere else, Eight Mile Creek boasts an extensive list of wines from all over the Outback, a downstairs pub featuring meat pies, an Australian jukebox, and televised cricket games, and a backyard beer garden with weekly "You Bring the Meat, We'll Supply the Barbie" gatherings all summer long. And yes, they also have Vegemite sandwiches.
www.eightmilecreek.comGermany
Loreley7 Rivington (between Bowery and Christie)If it's been too long since your last Wiener Schnitzel and Kaesespaetzle experience, head to this LES restaurant/bar/biergarten where servers straight outta Deutschland will fill you up and get you drunk. With twelve German beers on draft, all available by the half- or full-liter, you'll forget you've just cheated on every diet you've ever tried.
www.loreleynyc.com
France
Zucco: Le French Diner188 Orchard St (between Houston and Stanton), 212-677-5200When he described his restaurant to the New York Times, Zucco said he could "seat 20 skinny people or 14 fat ones." Le French Diner is as tiny as it is oozing with unabashed Frenchie charm. The singly-named owner (you'll realize he's as worthy of it as Cher once you taste the fries) does nearly everything himself, from greeting you with a gravelly "bon soir" to stepping outside for a cigarette the moment you ask for a check. Just relax and finish your $24 bottle of Bordeaux. Everything about this place is laid-back, except for its stringent "no ketchup" policy.
Louisiana
Mara's Homemade342 East 6th St (Between 1st and 2nd Aves) This aptly titled little restaurant and bar has all the southern comforts and then some. Mara, the chef, host, and mother of four, uses family recipes to make dishes like Chicken Fried Steak and Southern Fried Chicken from scratch. Wash your fried item of choice down with an assortment of Louisiana Abita beers and finish it all off with Bananas Foster or pecan pie with bourbon and chocolate. Suddenly you're not in the East Village anymore.
www.marashomemade.comTexas
Rodeo Bar375 3rd Ave (at 27th St) If you're more CMT than Z100, you will fit right in at this decked out horse trailer bar. The Tex-Mex food might not always live up to the highest of standards, but with live country and western music seven nights a week, free nachos and wings during happy hour, killer margaritas, and no cover, you can't really go wrong. Sometimes over-the-top kitsch is a good thing.
www.rodeobar.com