Not feeling the love on the day all your paired-up friends claim is the most romantic time of the year? Leave Noah’s Ark to them and instead, set the perfect mood with the ultimate party starter. No, not the booty call you have on speed dial, we’re talking about tantalizing liquid creations that will have you falling in love at first sip. Crank out all those tunes about broken hearts and nasty disses while you give yourself much needed comfort with some of the most vengeful cocktails around. Push aside those sappy greeting cards and get ready to pop bottles in cupid’s direction.
Shot of Love Stinks
You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else. It’s no wonder this thing they call love is going to make you cry. Cure those blues over the reds and pinks with a Shot of Love Stinks that’s better if served two by two and side by side. It packs a powerful punch with a lip smacking ending, perfect for those who don’t care for any Casanova thing. If you’ve been through diamonds and minks, wave one finger up high as you gulp down this broken heart cure.
Ingredients
1 oz. Three-O Grape Vodka
½ oz. Black raspberry liqueur
½ oz. Cranberry juice
Preparation
Add all ingredients in a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake. Strain into a chilled shot glass.
Medusa
Feeling like the world is your enemy on the sappiest day ever? Fortunately, one doesn’t have to be the loneliest number. If you insist on drinking your sorrows away at your favorite watering hole, considering ordering a snazzy new cocktail that will make crowds green with envy (as if that wouldn’t give you a hint of pleasure). Medusa makes heads spin with its union of Greece’s popular spirit Ouzo, which is reminiscent of licorice, as well as refreshing melon liqueur and tangy lemonade. Tangy, but with a mean bite, Medusa is certain to stop you in your tracks.
Ingredients
1 part Ouzo 12
1 part Midori
1 part Lemonade
Preparation
Add all ingredients in a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake. Pour in a chilled highball glass over ice.
Brazilian Sangria
Valentine’ Day can easily conjure up painful memories of past romances and bitter breakups. Forget about those unhappily ever afters with one cocktail that never fails in lighting up anyone’s night: the deliciously sinful Brazilian Sangria. This seductive number highlights succulent slivers of kiwi, nectarine, and cherry swimming in a pool of red wine, Spanish brandy, Brazilian cachaca, and potent absinthe. You won’t go mad as legends about the green fairy insist, but you will be hypnotized by its mouthwatering, sweet taste and fiery hue. Who needs an unwanted someone when you can enjoy a Brazilian Sangria anytime you desire?
Ingredients
Slices of fresh seasoned fruit (Distract yourself by getting creative and picking your favorite fruits. We do recommend strawberries, pineapples, and kiwi)
.25 oz. Lucid Absinthe
1.25 oz. Cachaca
.5 oz. Spanish brandy
.5 oz. Orange Liqueur
1 oz. Red wine
Preparation
In a cocktail shaker, thoroughly muddle the fruit with absinthe, cachaca, brandy, and orange liqueur. Pour into a wine glass. Float red wine on top of cocktail.
Red Velvet
Don’t have anyone to give you a box of chocolates? No problem! Satisfy your cravings with this heart-stopping, creamy, and oh so decadent libation. The Red Velvet is a chocolaty spiked treat for adults, highlighting vanilla-infused vodka, dark chocolate liqueur, ice cream, juicy cherries, and even some crushed biscotti for some added crunch. A one night stand is just for the moment, but the love for chocolate? Now that’s forever.
Ingredients
1 ½ oz. Sobieski Vanilla Vodka
½ oz. Blackberry Puree
½ oz. Dark chocolate liqueur
1 scoop Vanilla bean ice cream
3 slices of Muddled ginger
Crushed biscotti
Whipped cream
Maraschino cherries
Chocolate syrup
Preparation
Add swirls of chocolate syrup in a chilled martini glass. Then, add vodka, puree, ice cream, ginger, and dark chocolate liqueur in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake and strain into glass. Top with whipped cream. Rim glass with crushed biscotti. Garnish with maraschino cherries.
Adios Motherfucker
While Valentine’s Day is a day reserved for couples, others will be doing one scandalous deed: breaking up with their soon-to-be former flame. If you happen be such a heartbreaker, celebrate your newfound freedom with an Adios Motherfucker. The name is vulgar, but with good reason. Most bars won’t serve this Latin favorite twice to the same patron as the results could be lethal. You’ll quickly forget your troubles, but be warned, that hangover will soon make you realize that karma is a major B.
Ingredients
½ oz. Vodka
½ oz. Rum
½ oz. Tequila
½ oz. Gin?
½ oz. Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
2 oz. Lemon/Lime Soda
1 Maraschino cherry
1 Lemon slice
Preparation
Pour all ingredients except soda in chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with soda and stir gently. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and lemon slice.
